The Beginning of Something New

I have been in the process of moving for the past month with varying degrees of success. After much searching I got down to two places I was interested in potentially renting. After some debate I decided on one place partly because they would allow me to move in before the new year! All the paper work was signed and the keys were handed over just in time for a last minute moving party with a couple friends from church. It worked out just perfectly time-wise. I had one day to move in one day before I headed home for Christmas! I was able to get a lot of my stuff put away and it was so much fun to figure out where I am going to put my own belongings. I have been continuing to figure things out and it has been so much fun! I can't wait to finish putting everything away and then a nice party with lots of fun games, good friends, and tasty food. This is a new experience for sure! I've never had my own apartment before, and it is a good feeling. It's nice being a responsible adult.

Attitude adjustment?

I was getting close to finishing up work tonight, and customers just kept trickling in! I was getting rather annoyed until there was a break. But then two more ladies came in and my frustration built. Didn't they know I just wanted to go home? Of course, I was very friendly and courteous when they order, but my heart's attitude wasn't in the best shape. The time came to close down, and they were still sitting there. I don't even remember how the subject came up, but I found out that the baby with them was one sister's and the other sister is almost to her due date. So that got me talking about my sister who just yesterday had her very first baby! (Psst! It's a boy!) The more we talked the happier I was. I found out that more of the sisters have very large families, and have used midwives multiple times (like my sister did). It was truly such a blessing to chat with them and hear about their experiences with midwives and who they've worked with here in this area.  I know it's far in the future, but I'm pretty sure that I will want to use a midwife as well. I just see so many benefits to going that route. So again, having the chance to speak with these women was encouraging. It showed me that the things that make me frustrated and annoyed, those things God can use to bless me. Hopefully that will remind me to think of the bright side of every interaction.

Closer

This past week has been incredible in a couple ways, but the biggest one is just how close God feels right now. I love it. It is such an amazing feeling to know that the God of the universe is with me and loves me. How incredible. There were also a few difficulties this week, but in them I saw God even more, and was not afraid. I saw that God has a purpose for my life that I haven't grasped just yet. I've even received more words of knowledge from my friends at church. Some people may think it isn't legitimate, and God certainly doesn't speak to us like that, but when complete strangers can tell you about important things in your life that they COULD NOT know, you have to know it is God. He is mighty and powerful, and He knows us better than we know ourselves. Two of my friends spoke over me yesterday and both statements they made were perfect and exactly what I needed to hear. They were both things I have questioned God on, and didn't feel I'd received any answer...until now. How amazing. God is so amazing, awesome, and completely indescribable.

A New Journey

So as I mentioned in my last post, I am now a Mary Kay consultant! Hurray! I went to my first group meeting tonight and was able to meet the other women in my unit. It was nice to get to know them a little and I'm excited to get to know them even more! I had a lot of information to go over and I'm still trying to process some of it, but I think this is really going to be a good thing for me. I have my first party already planned, and I'm excited to see what comes of this new business! I'm a little nervous about being my own boss..but I think going to the weekly meetings will be motivation enough for me! The words of wisdom I received from tonight were: "become a goal-setting, goal-inspired, goal-achieving person." Here's to a new journey and a vast array of new experiences!

Thanksgiving for Encouragement

Today really was incredible...We had a few visitors at church today, and being able to talk with all of them was so encouraging. One conversation particularly was encouraging. We've been discussing the gifts of the Holy Spirit in church lately, and a big one is prophecy, and I had a prophecy spoken over me today. I suppose you could also call it a word of knowledge. She spoke for several minutes about who I am and how God sees me. It was amazing because she named several specific things in my life that she wouldn't be able to know. That is one confirmation that God was speaking through her. She also spoke about me becoming involved in a ministry that I've truly had a heart for ever since I lived in Germany. She and her friend were so encouraging about my music and the part I play in the church. And they also explained to me what some of my gifts are. That may sound a little strange, but they were things I have felt I was good at and enjoyed, and God just confirmed that He has put those gifts in me. It is so encouraging to hear those wonderful things! What a blessing it was!

Thanksgiving Day

I wish I would be better about taking pictures, but my words will have to suffice. Thanksgiving was a wonderful day. I was able to sleep in for the first time in a long while and then talk with M as he drove home to be with his family. Once I got up and ready, I made my way over to M's aunt's house. As soon as I got there, I was able to play with M's cousin who is twelve. And to my surprise, found that I was actually enjoying that time spent with him without distraction. Helping out with lunch went very quickly, as most of it was already done, but I was able to learn some new things and try new things  that I really liked! We all came together to give thanks and share how God has blessed us over the past year. It is always a pleasure to hear and to see how God is moving, and to reflect on how He's changed my own life.  The meal was delicious, and the time spent was wonderful! Immediately after lunch, I went to play with the cousin again, who had put together and obstacle course for me! We were able to play together for a while and then I took a nap while he watched a movie. Shortly after that, I headed home after a great day with M's family. It was such a blessing to spend the day with people I already care so much about. It was a privilege to be counted among them.

Thanksgiving Month - The day before Thanksgiving

Well, it's no use pretending I've kept up with this. Lately I'm been super tired and busy and it just hasn't been the first thing on my mind. Despite the fact that I haven't posted every day, I do have several things I'm very grateful for...


"Count it all Joy"
 This is the book I'm reading right now, and I am incredibly thankful for it. It is written by my sister's midwife and it is about different birth stories and how she has continued to learn more about God throughout her journey as a midwife. It is a truly inspiring book and I have learned so much.

Friends
I've been so blessed with friends this last week who have been an encouragement. I've had a lot on my mind, and have had to make some bigger (and exciting decisions), and they were always there for me. I've been so blessed with my church family up here because they really are a family to me.

 Decisions
I've made several decisions this week. One big decision is still in the process of being confirmed, so I'll wait on that. I did decide that I will take the next semester off of school and perhaps take classes during the summer. I decided to devote more time to volunteering at the nursing home once school is over. And I decided that I should get a second job as well...which leads me to...

Mary Kay
I just made this decision tonight, and so I personally am still processing this, but I'm super excited! I am now a Mary Kay Consultant! I learned about the opportunity a few months ago but determined it wasn't the right time, but that I was interested in the idea. I let the idea sit on the back burner until my consultant (and friend) brought it up to me again just last week. It was just the perfect timing for me to get excited about it. I'm very excited to get started, though a bit nervous. God is good. He will help me do my best.

Thanksgiving
I was anticipating this being another holiday spent alone, and I did not like that idea. I am way too much a people person and can easily get depressed if I don't see people for a while. Then as I was working, I had a brilliant  thought: I asked M's aunt if I could have Thanksgiving with her family! She very willingly said I could, and I'm just so excited about that. Not only will I spend Thanksgiving with people, but people I love to be around. What a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving Month - Day Twelve

Today was another fabulous day! Work was just fine, and it was a nice pace throughout the day. I had a chiropractic appointment that went very well, and it was more fun than usual! We laughed during my entire appointment! I was able to meet my awesome boyfriend for a short while and it was quite nice. Then I was able to hang out with a really good friend and hear the latest in her life. The night concluded with having small group, which was very good and thought provoking. It was a day that just kept going and going, but it was full of happy moments and lots of laughter. I'm one very blessed girl.

Thanksgiving Month - A Blessed Day Eleven

Today was such a wonderful day! Wednesday is my favorite day of the week. I always work Wednesday mornings and I absolutely love them, because it is Wednesday mornings that the ladies from the church's Bible study come beforehand for coffee and cookies. It is most definitely the busiest morning of the week. I have so enjoyed getting to know these wonderful women, and they have been an unending source of encouragement to me. I don't see them beyond the cafe, but yet we keep in touch with each others lives. Every week we get the update and share what is new in our own lives. It is wonderful, and to think I met them just because of where I work. I loves ladies, so I love Wednesdays. Today was especially busy! We had several large orders to take care of, on top of the even larger than normal Wednesday crowd. It was so much fun. I felt so accomplished by the end of my shift.

Another huge blessing from today was visiting M's aunt and uncle who live near by. M's sister came up for the night, so we had a small dinner party. It was great having time to get to know her a little bit more and hang out with his aunt. It's always such a blessing to spend time with their family.

Then immediately after that, M and I had music practice for church, which is, of course, another highlight of my Wednesdays. Music is so important to me, and I love having the chance to enjoy making music with my friends. It is a fabulous time of worship and thanks giving. Ahh, I love it.

It was such a wonderfully blessed day.

Thanksgiving Month - Day Ten

Today was pretty good, though not too exciting. The most exciting thing I did was dye my hair! It's now a reddish brown, and I really like it! :D I'm super thankful for my friend who helped me take care of it. I was really nervous even thinking about doing it on my own, so I was very willing to accept help. Then her husband started helping me look for apartments! Another huge blessing! I even was provided with supper from my job, and it was delicious!! I don't have any complaints for the day, only contentedness.

Thanksgiving Month - An interesting (9th) day!

Today was very interesting indeed! I went to work at 11 while it was raining huge raindrops. Those raindrops turned into the biggest snowflakes I think I've ever seen. Everything at my job were going normally and it was a regular busyness. Then at about noon, the lights flickered off for a few seconds. The place was full and dead silent until the lights came back on. We went back to life as usual. Just a few minutes later the lights went out again for real. The place was still pretty full, and we had a couple orders still to make, but we worked that out. We used candles wherever they were necessary. Our customers just hung out and finished their meals like nothing had happened, when it actuality, nearly the entire city and many surrounding towns were experiencing the power outage. It was determined that the power may not be on for quite a while, so we proceeded to close down shop, and just when we were about finished, the power came on. At first it was excited, then it was disappointing (I wanted to go home and do homework =P), then it was just strange. The rest of the day really felt off. The best moment at work was when M surprised me by coming in and hanging out a bit. I love when he does that. Over all, it was a very odd, but good, day at work. God reminded me just how much I love my job, and that alone makes me very thankful.

Thanksgiving Month - Day Eight

Today was a wonderful day all around though not much actually happened. I drove back from my sister's house today and it's about a 5 1/2 hr drive. One of my favorite parts was the fact that I left earlier than my boyfriend, and I was able to surprise him! I don't accomplish surprises very well, so I was ecstatic to pull it off. I did manage to completely freak him out for a minute as well. It was just lovely to have time hanging out with him (and his roommate) after having such a busy week. I'm thankful for quality time. :)

Thanksgiving Month - Day Seven

Yesterday was so wonderful being able to feel the baby move, but today was even better. I was able to be there for my sister's midwife appointment, and the midwife taught me how to feel the different parts of the baby. I could actually feel the baby's back, head, and butt! It was incredible. You always know that there is a baby inside there, but actually feeling it was amazing. Such a blessing. Another thing I'd like to share is a half hour video that I found particularly powerful. I'm thankful for the miracles of God and for people who are courageous enough to stand up for them.

Thanksgiving Month - Day Six

I'm so happy I was able to get this weekend off from work! I successfully flew down to Iowa this morning! (Phew, my arms are tired) After hanging out at home a little bit, my dad and I went to eat Chinese food at our favorite restaurant, and it was delicious. Then I made the short trip to my sister's abode where I am residing for the weekend. We spent our day together painting finishing touch-ups in her house. I've always enjoyed painting. The best part of the day was definitely feeling the little baby growing inside of her. What a blessing to be a woman! God's gift of life is awe-inspiring and should never be forgotten. I'm so incredibly thankful for God's grace in providing my sister and brother-in-law with an addition to their family, and for the chance to hang out with them a bit.

Thanksgiving Month - Day Five

Something I am in the process of doing is displaying my photography at Josie's, where I work. Of course, my preferred result would be to sell them, but that hasn't happened much yet. That has gotten a bit discouraging at times. I really want my work to be appreciated for what it is. I have received many compliments on them, which helps, but no one has liked them well enough to buy one except for one co-worker. One exciting thing about this experience has been ordering my first business cards ever! I really love them, and just think they are beautiful. Well, my thankful thought for the day comes from that. I looked at work today and a large chunk of my business cards were gone! I know that doesn't necessarily translate into purchases, but that means that each person was impressed even to take a card. It's a simple one tonight, but it meant a lot to me.

Thanksgiving Month - Day Four

The last few days have been very difficult on me, to be honest. I've been dealing with a lot of physical pain and a large amount of stress with school. My biggest area of thankfulness is that I finally finished my term paper, and it is in, though it is not my best paper ever. It is such a relief not to think about it. I've come to terms that I won't get a super high score, but at least I will get some credit. I've also had to correct some mistakes in another class that made me very anxious, but I'm learning not to take myself too seriously. Now, my body is yelling at me to get some sleep. So yeah, I'm so thankful to have those big assignments taken care of.

Thanksgiving Month - Day Three

I only have a minute before I simply crash into bed and fall asleep, but I didn't want to forget my thankful post. I'm thankful for friends who are there for me when I have a discouraging day. I am thankful for friends who can give me a different perspective. I'm thankful for friend who have experience writing term papers. And I'm thankful for their tips and help during the very stressful time of writing my own term paper. With that said, I'm going to fall asleep in about two minutes. G'night world!

Thanksgiving Month - Day Two

Right now it would be easy to think about all the things in my life that was making me anxious and frustrated, so just taking this minute to remember what I'm grateful for is very important.

I've mentioned this many times before, but I'm incredibly thankful for my job. I found the perfect little place to work the day after moving to this town. It has been the source of so many blessings. My focus tonight is definitely food blessings. Whenever I'm around when they have to dump food, I always am allowed to take it home and eat it up before it goes bad. With the combination of working there every day during the lunch hour and the food they send home with me, my grocery bill is nearly cut in half! Saving money is a very big deal in my life right now as I am just now searching for a place to live. Every dollar I can save instead of buying food goes into my savings account for a day when I won't be able to work. Basically, I've been hugely blessed.

Thanksgiving Month - Ron Paul

Last November, I was able to join with other bloggers in writing every day about what we were thankful for. I hadn't thought about it until just now, and though I am getting a late start on it, I decided I would like to do it again this year, even though not everyone else is. Anyway, I feel an attitude of thankfulness is a very important thing that many in my generation has lost, and I don't want to fall into that, so I'm back to this being a blog of thanksgiving.

For my first day it is very easy. I am extremely thankful for the opportunity I had yesterday to meet Presidential candidate, Ron Paul. He is a man to be admired for sure. He knows what he believes in and sticks to it no matter what other people say. I was privileged to not only get a group photo and a handshake, but also an individual picture and an autographed book. Though he had little time to be with us, it was wonderful to hear him speak on the policies he would enforce as the President. And he spoke to us on the very basic principles of freedom that we have lost. It was a very encouraging speech, and I learned a lot from it. So, I'm very thankful not only that I was able to meet him, but that there is such a man running for the highest position in our nation, and I hope that you, my friends, will look into him and realize just how awesome he is!

Calming the Storm

I truly believe one of God's preferred ways to speak to me is through music. Music has always been incredibly important to me, and for as long as I can remember, it has had a huge influence on my mood. Whenever I'm feeling upset, frustrated, scared (this is a big one), or very alone, I know I can just start singing praises to my King, and I'll start feeling better.

Lately I've had a lot going on, and have really felt weighed down. Music could help a little, but not much. I am so thankful for all the friends who have been praying for me; knowing I had your support helped a lot.

If you were to ask me two days ago how life was going, I probably would have answered "alright, but pretty stressful". If I looked at all the major components of my life, I felt they were all too stressful for me to handle. If you were to ask me the same question today, I would say "Great!", though most of my circumstances are the same as two days ago. God just has this way of making me see things from a different perspective. I don't feel weighed down right now.

One song that has meant a lot to me in the past and right now is "Sometimes He Calms the Storm" by Scott Krippayne. My favorite part of it is when Krippayne says, "sometimes He calms the storm, but other times He calms His child." I feel like that is me right now. In fact, some of my stressful things from two days ago are even worse today, but yet I feel so blessed and refreshed. 

I don't know how each of these things will work out, but I know God has a plan. I also understand that I will continue to go through the storms of life, and sometimes it will feel like I have lost, but God will never let me go, and He'll pick me up out of the pit of despair. He is good.

Failure is NOT an option: Part Two

So, I wrote this post before, and thought I would do a follow up post. I have continued facing many fears and overcoming them. As I previously mentioned, this is a huge deal in my life, and I'm so blessed to be growing in it.

I have jumped off many swings now, and am getting more comfortable with it.

I went on a rock climbing weekend which ended up being an extremely fun trip.

I now ride my bike to work nearly every day and sincerely enjoy it.

I've begun cooking for a wider range of people, and succeeding!

I have continued to grow into my own and am beginning to realize when I really am being a bother, and when I just think I am.

I have been playing piano for church almost every week, and have been very blessed by it.

I was majorly nervous about starting school again, but am pleased to say it's going well so far.

I know there are more that I'm just not thinking of, but suffice it to say, I am growing and learning. I have many fears, and slowly but surely, I intend to overcome them. I'm incredibly thankful to everyone who has been instrumental in helping me overcome my fears. I couldn't do it without you. :)

Stuff

Right now I'm in the process of moving, and it is getting to be pretty overwhelming! Who knew I had so much stuff!! The sad thing about it is that I've gone so long without using so much of it, but can't throw most of it away. I say, 'oh, it's practical to keep this around, you just never know when you'll need it!' I know that I'd forgotten about some of it, so it obviously doesn't mean that much to me. Here I am, complaining about having too much when so many people have too little! I have gotten rid of a bunch of stuff, which has been hard, but good. I keep saying that I'm trying to simplify my life...well, it still isn't very simple. I'm down to mostly miscellaneous things, which are hard to pack. It's also hard to know how much time I'll need in the morning. I am going out of town around lunch tomorrow, so that means I only have the morning to finish up packing and do all my cleaning. On top of everything else, I have school to take care of. I'm yawning right now, but am contemplating doing an all-nighter (or close to one), just in order to get all this stuff done! I haven't been this overwhelmed in a very very long time. I feel confident that moving is the right decision, but it is definitely a lot of stress to handle right now. The thing I'm most thankful for right now is that, tomorrow, I get to go home, see my family, and not work for four days!! That will be a huge blessing!

The Big 21!

I think I've been anticipating my 21st birthday for the last 6 months! All of my friends were 21 before me, which meant I couldn't always hang out with them, which was hard. But at last the long-awaited day came! Wednesday the 21st was my golden birthday (that's a big deal, huh? ) =D
   It was a wonderful day! I received many birthday wishes, extra tips at work, and some yummy cheesecake! I also was able to visit with a dear friend briefly and received a lovely gift from her that was very unexpected! The day proceeded quickly to being picked up by M and we went to our second archery class. It was such a blast!! At the beginning, I was using a compound bow (it's easier), and I got a bull's eye! I was so excited! And then I switched to the harder bow, and it was much harder, but I began to get better at it.
After archery, M took me out for my birthday dinner, and it was a great time of yummy food and good conversation. We also had music practice for church, and that is always enjoyable!
The birthday celebration continued yesterday with my party! Friends joined me for pizza and then we went to the karaoke bar that I've never been able to go to before! It was so exciting! I ended up singing 5 times, and one of those times was because the d.j. started the wrong song, but I knew it too. :P There was a big group of Asian guys who made the night quite exciting with their cheering and enthusiasm. They even asked to take a picture with me before they left...yup..that's right..I'm famous... =P It was a wonderful time, and I'm so glad my friends were able to join me!  The birthday celebration continues today when I will get together with my sister, and then next Tuesday, when hopefully, I'll get my official birthday jam circle dance. :D It's so great being 21!

Growth

I like to go back and re-read my journals from the past years. Tonight I dove into my Germany journal which also included a few months before my journey. Before heading to Germany, I visited my sister up here, and was able to go dancing for the first time. In that entry I mentioned M for the first time. I really liked dancing with him..but that's a side note. I also documented the experience of having my Grandpa live with my family before he passed away. 

As I read through my year overseas, I began to see how different I have become. I have heard a few different comments lately of how much I've grown. Sometimes that's hard for me to believe because each change comes slowly. 

It is true though..I have gotten over many fears, like riding a bike (which I now love), rock climbing (awesome!), playing piano in front of people, fears of failure (I'm not a failure), and cooking food (which I now feel much more confident in).  

I have had to deal with new and exciting things, like having a boyfriend (exciting and harder than I thought), having the opportunity to see my photography, and learning how to love dancing for my own sake. 

I have dealt with medical frustrations, like headaches (still a problem) and my skin. I'm very happy to say that my skin is doing much better! And the cure was natural...water! It was just set at a more acidic level than usual. Praising God for however long I have without skin issues!
I just feel like in every situation, I respond differently now than I would have last year. That excites me. I'm almost 21 (woot!), and it's nice to begin feeling like an adult, finally. :)

The View from the Top

This Labor Day weekend was incredible!!! I think it's fair to say that this season in my life has involved a lot of working to get over fears. M and my church family have done so much to help me do that. I am in the process of becoming a very confident young lady, and am getting more adventurous by the day. :D

So, on Friday, M asked me to go with him and a group of friends on a rock climbing trip. It took a little persuading, but I said yes. My stomach was nervous all the way 'til we got to our climbing spot two days later. :P I was the first one to climb (which was good, seeing that it gave me less time to think about it), and I made it up to the top both times I went on Sunday. I couldn't believe that I was actually climbing a wall of rock. I did so much better than I ever did on a climbing wall.

While everyone else got a chance to climb, one of my friends showed me how everything was anchored on top. Then, I noticed a huge pile of boulders (it was a quarry) and decided to climb it! Two friends joined me and we got to the top just in time for the sunset. It was beautiful. I normally am really afraid of heights, but standing up there after having to climb there was so different! I probably would have danced if I had the room. That night was an adventure finding a camping spot, but it worked out in the end.

Yesterday was our last day to be there, so we got an early start. We climbed some different walls, and did my one quite easily and more confidently. Ok, I was a bit hesitant while I was still on the ground, but as soon as I started climbing, I was good to go. What I did more than anything yesterday was climb the boulders, which were everywhere! I don't think I've ever felt more adventurous (I need to get out more :P).

It was so much fun, and I felt like I was part of the group. They were all so encouraging and supportive. I couldn't have done it without them. M and I climbed to the top of the tallest boulder pile and the view was beautiful. It was nice to just spend a minute with him there and think about what I'd already accomplished. I am really excited to do more things like this in the future! I'm letting my fears fly away, one at a time..

Blessings

I had heard of this song before and I think I must have heard it on the radio before, but today was the first time I actually listened to it. It felt like the words had been taken directly out of my heart. Seriously, this song was meant for me. I love how God can use music to influence my life and I truly believe it's one of His favorite ways of communicating with me. I was lucky enough to hear it twice on the radio just tonight, and now that I'm home I've listened to it probably about 10 times just on youtube. It's already my new favorite. That's why I wanted to share it with you. Here is a piece of my heart coming from the words of Laura Story in her song "Blessings"...

Blessings

Never Ending Battle

I haven't been able to see a doctor about my physical concerns, but I have been able to talk with some friends who are very knowledgeable about organic, healthy, home remedies. I am excited to try some of them. But for now, I must continue to wait and hope for some relief. The thing about having a blog that is this personal is that you really get to see me; my feelings, my emotions, my ups and downs. It's not hard to figure out when I'm the happiest and when I'm the most frustrated. But I hope, on top of that, that you will see how when I am frustrated, I always become happy again. I have a hope within me that allows me to experience pain and sorrow but always lifts me back up again. I don't know why I have to deal with these issues. I don't know what God's plan is in it. I don't see how God could be using it for any good. But, I know that God Himself is good, and He sees things I cannot see. Hopefully someday I'll have a better understanding of life and God's will, but until then, I will continue to live one day at a time. I will continue to look for remedies, for a cure. I will not give up hope. My God is bigger than these issues. He has the power to heal. If He chooses not to heal me (or just not yet), He'll also give me the strength to get through it. This never ending battle is not one I need to fight on my own. I will have bad days, and I will get discouraged, but I know I can count on God to be faithful, kind, loving, and perfect.

Weakness

I haven't written in 17 days. I think that may be a record. I've been really busy. Something is missing. I am missing something. There has to be more...there has to be. I feel very frustrated right now, my friends. I feel weak and wimpy for becoming so discouraged because of my pain. I see so many people in worse shape than I am, but does that make my pain invalid? Man, I just don't know. I'm scared that it'll never get better. Today, literally, my entire body hurts. And it's not that happy pain of knowing you just worked out for six hours or something like that..it's just pain. Pain with no known cause. Pain with no lasting relief. I've found that writing helps me to process things and move on, which is why I'm writing about this today. Sorry for the scattered-brain-ness of it. So many places in the Bible it talks about healing. Jesus healed entire crowds of people. Elisha (Elijah?) raised people from the dead. Peter's shadow healed people. Paul healed people. Obviously, I know that it wasn't the individual person who was healing, but Christ's power in them, but that makes it even harder for me to deal with. If anymore who has been endowed with Christ's power can heal, why haven't I been healed?  It seems every time I am prayed for and I have really felt the Spirit moving, it's worse the next day. Why? I'm tired of feeling tired. I'm tired of missing out on things because the pain. I'm tired of expecting each day to get worse as time goes on. I'm tired of walking around with welts all over me from scratching. I'm just tired of it. Can you give me any advice?

Thankful Thursday - Lessons Learned

The day I walked into the nursing home to volunteer, I knew it would be hard, and I knew it would change me, but I never realized how much. My very first day I had to deal with something that nearly made me physically sick, and though it seems minuscule to me to now, it actually made me choose not to return and visit a resident. I am not proud of this. I found out recently that this certain resident passed away. I still feel guilty. I feel very guilty because I was weak, and I didn't allow myself to be a blessing. *sigh* But God has more in store for me.

I have had to deal with residents who are very bitter and depressed, some who are always angry. I have had to listen to stories and not know the truth in them. It is extraordinarily hard for me to find myself doubting what I'm hearing, but I do..sometimes I have to wonder who do I trust there, but then I remember that it's not employees vs. residents..they are all the same. They are equals, though perhaps sometimes not treated as equals.

The hardest thing lately has been working with adult day care goers who can seem completely capable, but have begun to get confused and have lost some memory. Having the same conversation over and over is now a frequent occurrence. It's just on a repeat cycle. I think I told one gentleman five times that I'm mostly German but didn't speak German at home. He simply doesn't remember asking me that question. And even today I was visiting with the sweetest lady and her mind was continually wandering. We would be talking about the flowers and she'd make a comment about her sister marrying someone, and a lot of times the context of her conversation would change mid-sentence!

It has been a huge reality check for me to see these people and realize that someday...that could be me...70-80 seems so far removed from my current 20, but time flies..it will seem like no time passed by the time I get there. I have a lot to learn about life. One resident burst into tears as he told me about his son who has passed away. As I rubbed his shoulder I just thought, what love this man has to share.

Meeting these people has taught me so much. I can see examples of how I want to be, and examples of how I don't want to be. I am faced every day with the very real possibility of losing a friend - a reality that they have known much longer than I have. I don't want to look back on my life with regrets. I want to live everyday for Christ. I want to do my best and be my best. I want to see God's hand in my life, and how He can use me to influence others lives.

Though volunteering at the nursing home has been difficult, I can't regret it. I'm thankful for the experience of learning from those who have experienced way more than I have. I'm thankful for the hard lessons I have learned. I'm thankful for the chance to meet these people and make a difference in their day. I'm thankful for the opportunity to serve. I'm thankful for the strength from God that allows me to be there. 

Inspired Conversation

I didn't have a chance to write on Thursday, so this can count as my thankful thursday, as it did happen on Thursday. :P

My family is having a reunion out in Jersey this weekend, so I was flying out to meet them. Once I made it to my connecting airport, I quickly ran to Arby's for food, then ran back to my gate. As I was eating my food, the man sitting across from me began to tease me about how I didn't bring him something. We chatted a little bit and he teased me throughout of being mean and cruel. Towards the end he asked where I was sitting and that it better not be by him. I didn't learn my seat until after he boarded. As I boarded, I found my row, and then felt a tap on my shoe. It was him. I just gasped "No way!", and he looked incredulous, "That's not possible, show me proof!"

Needless to say, it was possible. I sat down and he introduced himself. I knew this was no coincidence, God had me there for a reason. We talked the entire 2 1/2 hour flight. We learned a lot about each other. He told me funny stories about his kids, and life lessons he's learned. I told him about my year in Germany and how much I learned. I was able to tell him about IBC, my church there, and what a difference it made for me. That led into a long, very detailed discussion about his church - Church of the Latter Day Saints of Jesus Christ.

I am very intrigued by mormons and what they believe, because I've heard of some things, and I wanted to hear them from an actually mormon! I asked him a lot of questions, and he answered them to the best of his ability. He had many literary articles on his phone that he allowed me to read, like their statement of faith. It was a great tool for me to bring new questions into the conversation. He expressed his beliefs, and I expressed mine, and though many of them were different, there was no animosity or hard feelings either way.

I did not change any of his beliefs, and he did not change any of mine, but he inspired me to actually research other religions, find out what they believe and why, so that the next time I have an opportunity like that, I'll know more what we're talking about. :)

I know God had me there for a reason, and I think one reason was to show me areas where my foundation need to be strengthened so I can more easily communicate it to others. And another reason was to open my eyes to some other beliefs that people hold on to. It was very educational for me.

Our conversation ended very well with him hugging me goodbye at the baggage claim. It was a wonderful experience for me, and I'm still very excited about it.

Give Me Words

I cannot express in words how happy the Lord has made me. I want to sing and dance with joy. He's taken every trial and concern and just turned it completely around. He's taken everything that has been a stress to me, and has made it a blessing. He has reminded me that He is in control, and I can be safe and content in knowing that He has my best in mind. I keep having songs run through my head..

"I wanna sing of Your mercy, I wanna sing of Your love, and tell the world I'm grateful for everything that You have done!" ...

"My sin, o the bliss of this glorious thought, my sin not in part but the whole, is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more. Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord oh my soul!"...

"Amazing! You are AMAZING!"...

"Indescribable! Unattainable! Awestruck, we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim; You are amazing, God"...
"How great is our God! Sing with me, how great is our God. And all will see how great, how great is our God!"...
"Give me words to speak. Let my spirit sleep. I can't think of anything worth saying, but I know that I owe You my life"

I have all these songs running through my head. I have so many words that have come from the hearts of others. They proclaim what I want to proclaim, but I find myself wishing I could find my own words. Lord, You have given me a passion for music and for worship. I pray You'd give me words to sing that would be honoring to who You are.

Thankful Thursday - Street Fair!

In my town right now there is a street fair going on. It's where a bunch of vendors come and sell arts and crafts, food and drinks...there's also entertainment! It's really a lot of fun, but that also means that my job is a lot busier.

Today was the first day, and I was a bit nervous to start off. My back and neck hurt a lot, I was dizzy, and I had a headache...there were a few times that I was literally concerned I'd simply fall to the ground. Thankfully, that did not happen. The Lord helped me through the day, and He sent some of my favorite customers to lift my spirits.

I ended up working 9 hours today, and it really was a lot of fun, despite not feeling the best. When I was finished, my boss invited me to go with him to the booth his wife was running and get some smoothies (which were delicious, btw)! I'm so glad I changed my plans in order to do that with him. It was a wonderful time just getting to know him better and being able to share with him some things on my mind and get his opinions. I really loved how there was a mutual respect, even though we disagree on many points. It was such a blessing.

I managed to get to my small group in time for some praying, and was even prayed for! I just feel so...wow.. I can't even explain it. It's one of the feelings of just knowing I was in the right place at the right time..

God is so amazing. He really is. He is using me, and only He deserves the glory. It is so amazing to know that God is real, He's everywhere, He's powerful and mighty, He's wonderful, He's the Savior, He's the King! I just can't wait for Him to continue using me. All my thankful thoughts today are of Christ. He sustains, He gives peace, He fills, He gives wisdom freely to those who ask, He is merciful, He is magnificent. Really, there is no end to the praise that is due His name!

The Sun is Shining Again

I still have lots of questions. I don't think I'll ever stop having questions. They still weigh upon me in some ways. Despite this, I'm learning that my God is good and faithful. He is completely capable of taking my burdens upon His back. Yes, I have my own concerns and worries right now, everyone does. But, in the long run, I know that Christ is with me, He loves me, He's proud to have me be part of His family, and He always welcomes me with open arms.
Twice in the last week I have been told that I am "strong"; strong of heart, soul, and mind. I wouldn't have really claimed that for myself, but when it was mentioned I realized I really am strong. I am not strong because of anything I have done, but because Christ has been continuing to mold and shape me into the person He wants me to be. I have faith in Him that no matter what happens, He'll be there. I know I don't need to be afraid, I don't need to let my doubts and concerns dominate my life. I can have hope and joy because my God knows what's best for me!
Some days, when I'm feeling especially low, I'll say "when it rains, it pours", a phrase I'm sure we're all familiar with. Once when I told my boyfriend that, he calmly reminded me that though things may seem bad, the rain will end. The next morning I saw him and thanked him for his patience and declared brightly that the sun was shining again. That has become one of my favorite things to say now. I'm very happy to say that today.
The morning started out a bit rough, with a few different events just tearing me down. I went into work feeling already defeated. But God blessed me in my shift today. He gave me so many encouraging customers. He brought the music leader in, and he started telling my boss what a blessing I'd been for his church. I don't know what is better than feeling appreciated for hard work.
My 'grandpa' came in and said my smile made everything better. I found that though it was a rough day and the past few days, my God is so much bigger, and because of Him, I can have joy!
To top it all off, I had some customers come in who spoke German to each other. I was scared, but I did speak in German with them, and they said I spoke German better than they spoke English (I don't happen to agree, but I appreciated it). It was so exciting to me, I cannot even express it. I was pretty much bouncing off the walls at work, my boss can testify. :P I have been missing Germany dreadfully lately, and it was such a blessing to get just a piece of it here in my own home. *sigh*
To sum up, the rain has been pouring down on me a lot lately, but because of God's grace, the sun is shining again!

A First

I mentioned earlier in some posts that I've been going to a local church to play their grand piano after work. It has been such a blessing to play in that room with great acoustics and a beautiful instrument. I've slowly gotten to a place that I can truly play, and sing like I'm alone, even though I know people can hear me. It's taken a while to get here.
I went there on Friday after work, and honestly, I wondered for a few reasons if I should be there instead of where I'd normally be. Now I do believe sincerely that I was supposed to be there that day. I had a great time working on my piano piece I've been writing, and I recorded that and also recorded me singing a song by Lincoln Brewster, I also found their Sunday set list and played through it. While I was watching the recording, someone walked in. It happened to be the man who originally allowed me to come play. I see him sometimes when I'm there, so I wasn't too surprised to talk to him. We chatted about his set list for music this Sunday, and how I'd played through it, since I knew all the songs. Then he asked if I'd be willing to play for the service! I was quite surprised, but I knew right away that I definitely wanted to and would if I wasn't expected to sing at my own church.
I found out for sure that I wasn't expected to play at my church, so after some communication issues, I was able to talk to the leader and let him know I would play. At this point I was feeling oddly confident. It would be my first time playing for another church.
I went in early this morning to practice with the leader and the rest of the crew. It was so much fun!! They had drums, four guitars (bass included), and 5 vocals. A total of 9 people were on the team, and that's definitely the largest I'd ever been a part of.
As the time drew near for the service to begin, I began playing music on my own. That was the most nerve-wracking part of the whole thing. I made plenty of mistakes, and I got really nervous and shaky by the end, but through it all, I did it. I completed it, I succeeded, and it didn't matter that it wasn't perfect.
The service itself went so well! It was such a blessing to play with that group of people. They were all so welcoming, and at one point, the leader made me stand up and then introduced me to the congregation. They all clapped for me, and I kinda wanted to go hide, but it was fine. =P I don't know that I've ever felt so free to play in front of others. It was so comfortable. I don't think it was the actual piano, room, or group of people, but rather, there was that freedom because a change in my life and who I am. It was such a blessing to realize that.
The service was also very relevant to my life right now, which was perfect. I appreciated it a lot. It was very interesting to attend their church (Lutheran) and just note some of the differences from my church. Anyway, over all, it was a huge success and blessing. I'm so glad it worked out for me to do that. =) It was a very happy 'first' for me.

Thankful Thursday - Questions

I nearly forgot it was Thankful Thursday today! I will keep this short tonight, because I still have lots to do and am already very tired. But despite that, I have many things to be thankful for:

~ Air conditioning. It's amazing the weather extremes we have up here!
~ Good friends and co-workers. We had an employee meeting tonight, and it was splendid.
~ Being able to meet up with M's aunt, who I love (*wave* hi!!) for dinner. It was a very uplifting time.
~ Also thinking back to my trip home, I'm extremely thankful for the time with family and friends.
~ Safety driving back from home.
~ Almost being done with a very tiring work week.
~ And for having a really great guy to celebrate with tomorrow!

The other thing on my mind lately is just a ton of questions. Questions of God's will, and how He makes things work. Questions on what is most important. Lots of questions of how to handle different situations. I feel somewhat weighed down by questions right now, and I haven't really gotten any answers yet. I would appreciate your prayers for that. I'm thankful for having friends who will pray for me..you guys are awesome!

D.C.

The arena behind the Tomb of the Unknown soldier

One of the funerals we were privileged to see

Arlington House

Arlington Cemetary

Library of Congress

The Court House

The White House

The Lincoln Memorial

Vietnam Memorial

Jefferson Memorial

The view from the Iwo Jima Memorial

The Iwo Jima Memorial

Here are some kids that I ended up
playing cards with at the airport.

None of them spoke English!

That definitely made things interesting

Clouds on the flight home

Thankful Thursday!

God has been blessing me so much in the past few weeks. it's really hard to even know where to begin, and yet I feel like I can't put any of it in words.
.Last Friday, I was able to fly home and meet up with my entire family for the weekend. It was amazing to see all of them! To see my niece now walking with help. To see my other sister's baby bump! So precious.
I've also had the chance to catch up with a lot of old friends in the past week that I've been home. Something I'm very thankful for was the rare opportunity of my whole family being together so M could meet the rest of them. :)
My parents and I were able to take a short trip out to Washington D.C that I'll be posting some pictures from soon. It was a quick but rewarding trip to be sure. We had some adventures too, which I'll fill you in on later. 
It was really wonderful being about to sing with my mom for about on hour today. I can play the piano, but there are some song books that I simply cannot play and sing with, so it's such a pleasure to be able to do that with her. Ahh so much fun. I even got to make dinner with her.
Also, I do love my job, but it's been so nice to have the week off and sinply not think about it. I've probably only thought of it once or twice! That's pretty good for me.
I'm really excited for the rest of my week here at home! I'll try to put pictures of D.C. up soon for you. :)

A Singer's Heart

I have sung for as long as I can remember. I even have audio of me singing when I was probably 5-6! Granted, I wasn't the best singer at that point, but I think it's pretty cute. :P It was even pretty much in pitch. ( I just listened to it again...) Anyway, despite always being a singer, it has not always been easy for me to sing in front of people. I think this is a normal issue, so I won't beat myself up too much.. :D

I can remember the first song I sang by myself for special music at church: At the Foot of the Cross by Ray Boltz. Then it was requested that someone sing "Thank You" by Ray Boltz for our Teacher's Appreciation Sunday! I remember that one very well because a lot of the women were crying. Haha, that made me feel bad.

I have had lots of opportunities to sing alone and with a group over the years and I have gained so much from all of them. I was in a youth choir for a year and a half and it always bothered me how the other participants didn't take it as seriously as I did. It's true, I'm a teacher's pet. I was able to visit Philadelphia and Chicago with that choir and we saw Wicked and The Lion King. It was incredible!

I've also seen Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and The Phantom of the Opera. But honestly, the stage productions I have enjoyed the most have been those at Sight and Sound Theatre in Lancaster, PA. I've had the privilege to see a few different shows there, and they are all awe-inspiring. After seeing the first show there, I knew that I wanted to sing with them. I'd still love to do that.

Over the years, that dream has died off a bit. I began to think I wouldn't be able to sing that powerfully. I've never been able to sing my best in front of people..until today.

I was very blessed to be on the worship team at church, and one song we did was my personal request. I love this song so much. It is such a powerful song, and I love to sing it when I'm by myself. I sing really loudly when I'm alone. Anyway, I was afraid that like normal, I would tighten up during the service, but I love that song so much that I sung with all my heart. I must have been really loud..but I truly feel it was the best I've ever sung in front of others, and I'm so grateful for that..It was quite the thrill...

Thankful Thursday

Well, I actually remembered it this week! I actually was thinking about it all day. I don't have too much to say tonight, as I am very tired; but I do have some things to be thankful for.

I'm thankful for:

~ My Savior who allows me to be part of His family
~ Being able to feel the urging of the Spirit in a few different scenarios recently
~ Going through the process of growing up, and becoming who I'm supposed to be
~ Realizing the things I need to work on and understanding it could be a long process
~ That my friend is doing a bit better!
~ The wonderful year I've had working at Josie's
~ My boyfriend and his upright character
~ A day off in the midst of a lot of work
~ Having the chance to reorganize all my things
~ Learning how to play pool =P
~ Being able to play piano at the church and at the nursing home, and being appreciated for it
~ Being able to hold a friend's baby for a good amount of time
~ A random customer who is now helping me find a bike for free!

As always, the list could continue...God has very richly blessed me, that is for sure!

One Year and Counting

It's hard to believe, but I've officially been working at Josie's for one year now! The day after I moved up to live with my sister, I went straight down the downtown area and put in applications where my sister suggested. As I was getting to the end of the day I was getting pretty discouraged. No one I spoke with seemed very happy or friendly, and none of them made me feel like (1) they wanted to hire me and (2) I'd want to work for them.
I was just about to give up and go home but decided to go one more block and see if I could find this Josie's that I'd heard a lot about. Lo and behold! There it was, in that one last block. I took a deep breath, and went inside.
I found a girl behind the counter and she greeted me with a big grin and completely full of joy. I immediately felt comfortable in that place. She gave me an application and chatted with me as I filled it out. She even mentioned I should check back in since they were looking to hire immediately!
I left that building with a skip in my step and I called my dad. I told him about my day and said, "I know where I want to work!" I knew right away that this was the place for me.
Then two days later, I got a call from the owner and set up a meeting for the next day. The interview went very well, and I felt very confident. One week later, I got the ground shaking call that I was actually hired. I was so excited!
My first day was so much fun! I only worked for a few hours, just to start off small. I didn't realize it until a few months later, but I actually met one of my close church friends on my first day at Josie's! She had come in with her grandparents. I just think that's really cool.
Over this past year I have had to learn so much and at times it was very overwhelming. I found out very quickly that not only were my coworkers and bosses patient, but they were very kind, forgiving, and encouraging. I've never had a more encouraging work environment, and I couldn't be more thankful for it.
 I made friends quickly with some of the regular customers. I've mentioned some already in Golden Nuggets of Wisdom, Another Look Behind, Joyfulness, and Customer Blessings. I'm very happy to say that Josie (see link) did move back here, and is now a good friend of mine. *wave* Hi Josie!
Meeting all these wonderful people has made such a difference in my life and I am incredibly thankful for them. I love my job completely, and hope to continue there for quite a while! So yay for one year, and here's to many more!

Encouragement

Isn't it awesome to see God working in each other? I feel so blessed right now. I literally just got home from church, put my stuff down and came to write this post because I'm feeling so encouraged! 

We had a guest speaker at church this morning. I've met him one other time, but haven't heard him speak before, so I was really excited for today. 

He spoke about setting goals, and not only goals that we can achieve on our own, but to really dream big and set our goals for things we can't handle without others and without our Lord. He spoke about failure and how we'll all have times of failure, but that doesn't mean WE are failures. We are the saved and redeemed of the Lord, so that means we WIN! 

In talking with him and his wife afterward, I was deeply encouraged. I won't explain how, but they were able to hear from a separate source, things about me that I wouldn't always assign to myself. It was such a blessing to hear how my efforts are being noticed, and people do see something in me that they might not see in others. This may seem trivial, but he and his wife said two different things that really struck me. In his sermon he mentioned how we all have 'ups and downs', and then as I was leaving, the they were telling me to keep up the good work, and the wife said "it's making a difference". If you haven't been paying attention, those were two of my last three posts: Ups and Downs, and Making a Difference.
Every single thing they said had significant meaning in my life right now, and it's just amazingly crazy! Don't we serve an amazing God? One who knows exactly how much we can handle, and gives us grace to handle more. The One who bring others into each of our lives to be a source of encouragement. They may not realize what a difference they made, but I'm so glad they let the Lord speak through them.
Also, I can say that sometimes it means so much more to be encouraged by those who don't know you that well. My friends and family love me, and so I kinda expect them to be encouraging, and they have more an opportunity to see when and how I need to be encouraged. This family isn't like that. As I said, I've only met the husband once before, so almost everything they know about me is what they've heard from other people. I am just completely struck by what a blessing today has been already. Could it get any better?

Ups and Downs

The last week has been full of ups and downs for me. And the only answer I have is that I need to strengthen my relationship with my Creator. Everything in this life just falls apart when He's not included. I've had so many examples of that in this past week.

I've had a much harder time fighting Rejection and feelings of failure, and I've found myself thinking things that aren't necessary or true. I guess the positive thing I can take from that is that I'm actually recognizing these things as an issue now. 

I've also had a lot of issues come up recently that don't directly deal with me, but I am affected by them, and I simply don't always know how to respond. The hardest has definitely been coming to know of the deep depression one of my friends is in right now. I'd appreciate prayers for my friend. 

But, in these times of discouragement, God has blessed me with wonderful experiences that have completely blessed me. 

Probably the highlight of my week was doing a 5k this morning in 45 minutes. I wasn't able  to run the whole thing, but I'm still very happy with my result. I'm hoping I won't be a lot more sore tomorrow morning.
Today was full of blessings, including the wedding of good friends! It was beautiful.
Other fun things I did this week were teaching swing dancing twice, cooking some new foods, playing cards with some new friends at the nursing home, and going to a baseball game with M! 

Throughout this week, I always noticed that no matter how down I felt, I still had a hope within me that was stronger than the despair. My down moods have lasted a while in some cases, but I never fail to cheer up at some point. i consider that a huge blessing. What a blessing it is to have the hope which is found only in Christ. 

"Some trust in chariots; some trust in horses; but I will trust in name of the Lord"

Blessed Beyond Measure

I have come to the conclusion that I have truly been blessed beyond measure in my life, but more specifically in the past year. I am amazed at all the seemingly miniscule events that have been working together to make me someone I never imagined myself to be. I've shared a lot of them with you already, like when God gave me the chance to right a wrong, or when I began getting over my feelings of failure, and also the time God showed me how he was using a trial in my life to benefit me in the long run. I also have been blessed to realize the hold Rejection played in my life and God has used the smallest things to remind me of that. Also, just seeing how God has changed the number of people in my family (yay for nieces and nephews!), and seeing how that has changed all of our priorities and how we interact with each other. This post simply wouldn't be complete without mentioning how different my life is now that I have such a wonderful man as my boyfriend. I've never been in a relationship before, and so that has brought its own difficulties, in just not  knowing how to handle some situations, but I am happy to say that I've grown a lot, and I'm excited to see where it all goes. So all this to say, I'm extraordinarily blessed.. :D

Making a Difference

I've been waiting to post until I could figure out some bug my blog had, but here I am at long last. I've just been impressed recently with a desire to make a difference in someone's life. To see a need and to meet it; to help when help is needed. I've continued volunteering at the nursing home, but sadly, in some instances, I've found myself not really enjoying myself anymore, and I'm not sure why.
One issue I had was being assigned a different task than I was expecting. You should know by now that I don't deal well with change. I like my plan and sticking to it. Anyway, I think that issue has been resolved now which is good.
I was there yesterday and was able to chat with one of my first friends there, and it was just sad. He doesn't want to be there; he wants to be at home. I think this nursing home is an excellent establishment, but I can't blame him for wanting to live with family. I think I've made at least a little difference in his life. I try to be a positive and balancing presence for him. What he really needs is his family.
I have one request of you all: if you have family or friends residing in a nursing home, please go visit them. They may be older or disabled, or what have you, but they are still people who need people. They still need to know they are loved or else they just might live out the rest of their days in misery, and I don't want that to happen.
There are so many ways each of us can make a difference in someone else's life, why don't we make an effort to do it more? Why don't we become a people known for our kindheartedness, our patience, our generousity; why don't we become a nation worth emulating ?

A Busy Week

Work has been absolute madness lately!! Seriously, I've worked quite a bit more than usual. I'll usually eat for at least 10-15 minutes for each shift, but lately I've only had about 5 minutes. There's just so much to do! And on top of that, I usually have enough time to sit while frosting cookies, but it's been so busy that I can only frost a cookie or two at a time before having to help someone else. Despite the pressure all the standing has put on my back and neck, I'm feeling pretty good. I'm not as tired now as I was the beginning of last week, so hopefully I'm getting used to it a bit.
I'm surprised that I had to deal with this last summer immediately after being hired. How did I do it? One of the really great things about the current madness is that I've definitely seen how I've grown a lot in my job, and how I handle things much differently now. I don't take things as personally as I did before. And I've learned how to play around and not be serious all the time.
One of the funniest things to happen this week was receiving my very first offer of marriage! My shop barters with the bar next door, we give them cream, they give us ice. So every morning I work, I have to go get a cooler of ice for the day. On Wednesday, I did this as normal, but as I went in, there was a guy standing around have some sort of drink, and he very suddenly began singing a song about me! It went something along the lines of "I'm wearing a black shirt (it's true, I was) , and i have shiny glasses, and I'm wearing an apron (also true), and I'm stealing the ice" then he looked at me and asked if I was stealing the ice, to which I of course said 'no'. Then he began a conversation with me...

Him : Are you from a business?
Me: Yes
Him: Well, you better not tell me where it is unless you want me to come visit you.
Me: Don't worry, my lips are sealed.

Then I don't remember what he said, but he was kinda chatting with me and with his friend at the same time. I was just trying to get out of there before I burst out laughing! But on my way out..

Him: Will you marry me?!?
Me: Nope!

And then I walked out. It was sooo funny. I seriously laughed so hard once I got back to work!

That was probably the funniest thing to happen at work this week. Other than that, I've had lots of new customers, which is always interesting and good. And I've had a chance to get to know my regulars even better! Plus, it's been a great time of encouragement from my bosses. So yay! I love my job. It makes me happy. :D

Thankful Saturday - Whoops!

Man, I can't believe I forgot again this week. That is just wrong. :P This week has been insanely busy, so I guess I'll cut myself some slack. Yesterday alone had enough interesting experiences to write a post on. :P My goodness, I'll have to save it for another day, I have too much to share from last weekend as well! I'll get right to it.

I told you last week how I got to go to the city to go dancing with M, but I don't remember if I told you about staying at a friend's house that weekend? I ended up hanging out with M most of Friday and then heading to my friend's house and there I had sooo much fun! I can't remember the last time I had such a refreshing weekend! God was completely the focus of every day, and thus we had some amazing conversations. We were able to visit a huge professionally landscaped garden, and we (plus one more friend) had a picnic there and just sat in the sun for like 2 hours. It was awesome! I also got to join my friend at her small group meeting, and it was a huge blessing. I even got to visit a really awesome church! And to top the weekend off, I got to ride home with M again and have a really great conversation.

Now for this week. Every day I've worked this week has been insanely busy, and it has been fun, but slightly overwhelming. I have to work today as well, so I'm really looking forward to having the day off tomorrow to recover. A lot of  really great things have happened at work. I had a conversation with my boss that was completely encouraging to me. I've gotten some really funny stories. I've been able to build my relationship with my regular customers as well. And tips have been amazing too. God has definitely been blessing my job, and I know he will continue to do so.  I feel like I'm missing so much, but I'll just fill you in on those later if I remember them. :)

Failure is NOT an option

Something that has been huge for me lately is getting over my fear of failure and my, somewhat overwhelming, feelings of failure, and so I was given a challenge to write down things I have succeeded in every day and writing more and more each day. I didn't know if it would make much of a difference, but now I think it has. I think the biggest thing I realized is that while the huge successes are amazing, the little successes are still incredibly important. It's more the small things that I base my self opinion on. So, I felt like sharing some of my small successes with you, and showing you how important they actually are!


~ I succeeded in jumping off a swing.
  That sounds strange, doesn't it? Well, I used to jump off swings all the time when I was little, but one day I jumped and hurt myself. I never jumped again, until Friday. It took me a little while to work up the nerve, but I did it! I even did it twice! Shockingly simple, huh? :)

~ I succeeded in crossing an old railroad bridge.
  I promise it was safe. It was quite wide, and the wooden boards were pretty close together. Despite that fact, I was petrified. This venture combined three of my biggest fears; heights, large amounts of water, and bridges. I only made it across because M held my hand the whole way; but I did it! I'm very proud of myself for that.

~ I succeeded in not taking a nap.
I have had sleeping issues for quite some time for various reasons, but I've always found it easier to take naps than to get enough sleep at night. It's on the days when I open that I really feel the need for a nap, but I know and understand that I will sleep better that night if I don't take a nap. It is always a struggle, and I'm happy to say I am doing well with limiting my naps!

~ I succeeded in falling back asleep.
 Waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to fall back asleep is a big part of my sleeping issues. It has become so normal to me that many times I don't even try to fall back asleep right away, but will get up and read my book or something. This last time I woke up though, I told myself that I had to try to fall asleep for at least an hour, and if I was still awake, only then could I get up and read. I fell asleep before my hour was up, and I am happy I didn't give up on sleep for that night.



I realize that these may seem trivial (as I already said), but they truly meant something to me. I found myself thinking about them often and rejoicing in the small victories that God has helped me achieve! I can only look forward to how He's going to continue bringing me victories.

Thankful Thursday - A Day Late

So, I wasn't able to write a post last night because I was too busy dancing until 1:30am! M and I drove to the city yesterday to go dancing at this really awesome social dance studio. It was so much fun!! I danced with a ton of new guys, and some of them were just brilliant! Sometimes it was hard because they were so much better than me, and I'd feel bad for making dance with me. But then I kinda got over that and just enjoyed the time! Woot! Anyway....

~I'm thankful for the opportunity to visit my sister and her family in Denver this past weekend. It was so wonderful to see most of my family again.
~ I learned in Denver that my other sister is pregnant!! Super thankful for that!
~ It was a huge relief to get both flights home on Sunday, and I even made it in time for some of church!
~ On Monday, my original supper plan (which did not include me cooking) didn't work out, and so I had to figure something else pretty fast, and I'm happy to say I succeeded in making a very nice meal! Yay for success!
~ Tuesday was a busy day! I had a great time talking to my grandma and a great friend, playing piano at the church, working at the nursing home, and then I got my oil changed in my car, had a birthday party, and went to a new small group! I'm thankful I got through the day!
~ I'm especially thankful for that small group. It was an incredible blessing, and it completely changed my day's attitude to what it should have been. So excited to continue this study!
~ I'm thankful for improved sleep!
~ And as I mentioned before, I'm really thankful to have been able to come dancing last night!
~ God was very good to me last night (as He always is) and reminded me of the important things.

I really couldn't be more thankful for how God has been working in my life, and all the wonderful opportunities I've been given lately. Life is Awesome!

Thankful Thursday - A Walk Down Memory Lane

As I was sitting in the airport baggage claim, waiting for my sister to arrive, I took the opportunity to look over some of my old pictures that I haven't seen in ages. As I continued viewing them, this ever increasing nostalgic feeling came over me. I thought about that for a while and somewhat wondered why I felt that way. I wouldn't change my life right now for anything. I'm probably the happiest I have ever been, and yet I long for those memories. I wish it would be possible to simply relive some of those days. Not to change anything, but to feel the emotions I felt and to see what my life was like at those points.

I wish I could go back on our Canadian cruise. Oh my goodness, that was a fun trip! We learned so much history, and we made some really great friends. So many laughs, and so many good times.

Or if I could go back to Bavaria in Germany and relive the wonderful time I had with my German hosts, and honestly, the wonderful time I had without them as I went exploring by myself for the first time in Europe. I grew a lot in that adventure.

Crazy though it sounds, I'd really love to go back to my London experience. It was such an amazing learning opportunity, and I'm so glad I had it. It was truly something I'd never had to deal with before. The movie “Standby” has still to be written and made about it..it would be a hit for sure!

Of course, I can't forget my wonderful Continental tour! I am so blessed to have gone on that tour. I would say it was pretty instrumental in building my personality because it forced me to open up and it was then that I figured out that despite my misgivings, I truly was an extravert at heart.

I wish I could go take a walk back in my little town in Germany. To eat doener again would be even more amazing! To feel the whip of the wind in Cuxhaven and go through that sudden downpour again. I loved that moment with my charge. He was beginning to be frustrating that I said we needed to go inside, but then once the rain hit, he gladly asked for and appreciated my help in getting his kite down..running back to the hotel was cold, wet, windy, and sandy, but one of the happiest moments on that trip. Once we got inside, we just died laughing. It was really great.

Even going back to some more recent memories, like Thanksgiving with my family, or our reunion in January. Seeing my niece just one week after her birth. Man, time just flies by.

At the same time that I wish I could go back and do these things all over again, I know that now it would be different, because I am different. Each one of these experiences have played a part in defining who I am as a person. So many life changing things happened in the realm of all these memories, it would be impossible to share them all. I am extraordinarily thankful for my life, and the wondrous way Christ has worked in me and through me in so many situations. He is the most important thing to ever happen to me. This was a bit different for my Thankful Thursday, but I think it is also fitting. Thanks for taking this trip down memory lane with me!