Thankful Thursday - Lessons Learned

The day I walked into the nursing home to volunteer, I knew it would be hard, and I knew it would change me, but I never realized how much. My very first day I had to deal with something that nearly made me physically sick, and though it seems minuscule to me to now, it actually made me choose not to return and visit a resident. I am not proud of this. I found out recently that this certain resident passed away. I still feel guilty. I feel very guilty because I was weak, and I didn't allow myself to be a blessing. *sigh* But God has more in store for me.

I have had to deal with residents who are very bitter and depressed, some who are always angry. I have had to listen to stories and not know the truth in them. It is extraordinarily hard for me to find myself doubting what I'm hearing, but I do..sometimes I have to wonder who do I trust there, but then I remember that it's not employees vs. residents..they are all the same. They are equals, though perhaps sometimes not treated as equals.

The hardest thing lately has been working with adult day care goers who can seem completely capable, but have begun to get confused and have lost some memory. Having the same conversation over and over is now a frequent occurrence. It's just on a repeat cycle. I think I told one gentleman five times that I'm mostly German but didn't speak German at home. He simply doesn't remember asking me that question. And even today I was visiting with the sweetest lady and her mind was continually wandering. We would be talking about the flowers and she'd make a comment about her sister marrying someone, and a lot of times the context of her conversation would change mid-sentence!

It has been a huge reality check for me to see these people and realize that someday...that could be me...70-80 seems so far removed from my current 20, but time flies..it will seem like no time passed by the time I get there. I have a lot to learn about life. One resident burst into tears as he told me about his son who has passed away. As I rubbed his shoulder I just thought, what love this man has to share.

Meeting these people has taught me so much. I can see examples of how I want to be, and examples of how I don't want to be. I am faced every day with the very real possibility of losing a friend - a reality that they have known much longer than I have. I don't want to look back on my life with regrets. I want to live everyday for Christ. I want to do my best and be my best. I want to see God's hand in my life, and how He can use me to influence others lives.

Though volunteering at the nursing home has been difficult, I can't regret it. I'm thankful for the experience of learning from those who have experienced way more than I have. I'm thankful for the hard lessons I have learned. I'm thankful for the chance to meet these people and make a difference in their day. I'm thankful for the opportunity to serve. I'm thankful for the strength from God that allows me to be there. 

Thankful Thursday

Well, I actually remembered it this week! I actually was thinking about it all day. I don't have too much to say tonight, as I am very tired; but I do have some things to be thankful for.

I'm thankful for:

~ My Savior who allows me to be part of His family
~ Being able to feel the urging of the Spirit in a few different scenarios recently
~ Going through the process of growing up, and becoming who I'm supposed to be
~ Realizing the things I need to work on and understanding it could be a long process
~ That my friend is doing a bit better!
~ The wonderful year I've had working at Josie's
~ My boyfriend and his upright character
~ A day off in the midst of a lot of work
~ Having the chance to reorganize all my things
~ Learning how to play pool =P
~ Being able to play piano at the church and at the nursing home, and being appreciated for it
~ Being able to hold a friend's baby for a good amount of time
~ A random customer who is now helping me find a bike for free!

As always, the list could continue...God has very richly blessed me, that is for sure!

Ups and Downs

The last week has been full of ups and downs for me. And the only answer I have is that I need to strengthen my relationship with my Creator. Everything in this life just falls apart when He's not included. I've had so many examples of that in this past week.

I've had a much harder time fighting Rejection and feelings of failure, and I've found myself thinking things that aren't necessary or true. I guess the positive thing I can take from that is that I'm actually recognizing these things as an issue now. 

I've also had a lot of issues come up recently that don't directly deal with me, but I am affected by them, and I simply don't always know how to respond. The hardest has definitely been coming to know of the deep depression one of my friends is in right now. I'd appreciate prayers for my friend. 

But, in these times of discouragement, God has blessed me with wonderful experiences that have completely blessed me. 

Probably the highlight of my week was doing a 5k this morning in 45 minutes. I wasn't able  to run the whole thing, but I'm still very happy with my result. I'm hoping I won't be a lot more sore tomorrow morning.
Today was full of blessings, including the wedding of good friends! It was beautiful.
Other fun things I did this week were teaching swing dancing twice, cooking some new foods, playing cards with some new friends at the nursing home, and going to a baseball game with M! 

Throughout this week, I always noticed that no matter how down I felt, I still had a hope within me that was stronger than the despair. My down moods have lasted a while in some cases, but I never fail to cheer up at some point. i consider that a huge blessing. What a blessing it is to have the hope which is found only in Christ. 

"Some trust in chariots; some trust in horses; but I will trust in name of the Lord"

Making a Difference

I've been waiting to post until I could figure out some bug my blog had, but here I am at long last. I've just been impressed recently with a desire to make a difference in someone's life. To see a need and to meet it; to help when help is needed. I've continued volunteering at the nursing home, but sadly, in some instances, I've found myself not really enjoying myself anymore, and I'm not sure why.
One issue I had was being assigned a different task than I was expecting. You should know by now that I don't deal well with change. I like my plan and sticking to it. Anyway, I think that issue has been resolved now which is good.
I was there yesterday and was able to chat with one of my first friends there, and it was just sad. He doesn't want to be there; he wants to be at home. I think this nursing home is an excellent establishment, but I can't blame him for wanting to live with family. I think I've made at least a little difference in his life. I try to be a positive and balancing presence for him. What he really needs is his family.
I have one request of you all: if you have family or friends residing in a nursing home, please go visit them. They may be older or disabled, or what have you, but they are still people who need people. They still need to know they are loved or else they just might live out the rest of their days in misery, and I don't want that to happen.
There are so many ways each of us can make a difference in someone else's life, why don't we make an effort to do it more? Why don't we become a people known for our kindheartedness, our patience, our generousity; why don't we become a nation worth emulating ?

Thankful Thursday - A Day Late

So, I wasn't able to write a post last night because I was too busy dancing until 1:30am! M and I drove to the city yesterday to go dancing at this really awesome social dance studio. It was so much fun!! I danced with a ton of new guys, and some of them were just brilliant! Sometimes it was hard because they were so much better than me, and I'd feel bad for making dance with me. But then I kinda got over that and just enjoyed the time! Woot! Anyway....

~I'm thankful for the opportunity to visit my sister and her family in Denver this past weekend. It was so wonderful to see most of my family again.
~ I learned in Denver that my other sister is pregnant!! Super thankful for that!
~ It was a huge relief to get both flights home on Sunday, and I even made it in time for some of church!
~ On Monday, my original supper plan (which did not include me cooking) didn't work out, and so I had to figure something else pretty fast, and I'm happy to say I succeeded in making a very nice meal! Yay for success!
~ Tuesday was a busy day! I had a great time talking to my grandma and a great friend, playing piano at the church, working at the nursing home, and then I got my oil changed in my car, had a birthday party, and went to a new small group! I'm thankful I got through the day!
~ I'm especially thankful for that small group. It was an incredible blessing, and it completely changed my day's attitude to what it should have been. So excited to continue this study!
~ I'm thankful for improved sleep!
~ And as I mentioned before, I'm really thankful to have been able to come dancing last night!
~ God was very good to me last night (as He always is) and reminded me of the important things.

I really couldn't be more thankful for how God has been working in my life, and all the wonderful opportunities I've been given lately. Life is Awesome!

Dependency

I helped out at the nursing home again yesterday, and dependency was what struck me the most. Here are just over 100 people who, for whatever reason, need help to continue living their day to day lives. I was very surprised to meet some very young residents there. I know that I always saw nursing homes just as helping elderly people, but not here. Granted, most of the residents are older, but there are still some young people. Two of the residents I've really gotten to know are quadriplegics. One of them has some mobility in his arms, but it is very limited. And the other is completely paralyzed from the neck down. Neither of them are very old, but both are completely dependent on others. 

It wouldn't be hard to understand if they were both bitter and hard-hearted because of their situations, but they have such happy spirits. They are always ready to give a smile, and cheerful attitudes.

It made me wonder how I would respond if put in their situation. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I already have that aspect in my life.. and I continually fight it...

You see, I really like to be in control. I don't like people making decisions for me. I like having that independence... There are some things I simply cannot control, but that doesn't mean I don't try to! I don't think I am the only one to struggle with giving control to God; giving Him the pen to our life story.
The two men I told you about have to trust that not only are their caretakers capable of assisting them, but that they are willing to assist them as well. Here is a tangible example of how someone can rely completely on another human being. 

Why can't we do the same with God? Why can't we trust Him with that same cheerful attitude and happy spirit? Why do we forget that God not only has the power to make our lives completely glorifying to Him, but He wants to do that too! I'm not saying our lives should be a walk in the park by any means, but God does not give us more than we can handle, He does not allow us to be tempted more than we can bear. He has orchestrated our past, present and future in a miraculous way. Plus, He gives us grace enough for each trial and problem we come into. God is our sustainer. Won't you work on trusting Him more with me?

Thankful Thursday

It's that time again! This week has been full of great experiences, growing opportunities, and really fun times. :) I am thankful for:


~ the opportunity to meet with others in the church
~ dancing!
~ getting to hang out with a friend who is on bed-rest and who's having a baby tomorrow!
~ a wonderful church service
~ being able to teach swing dancing again
~ a few chances to volunteer at that nursing home I mentioned before
~ meeting up with a good friend for a delicious and encouraging lunch
~ more dancing!
~ patient customers
~ a talented chiropractor
~ that my latest hit on the head wasn't as serious as the last
~ being allowed to play the piano in a nearby cathedral
~ getting a lot of walking in today
~ spending time with my really awesome boyfriend :D

Yup, I'm a pretty happy girl...:D

Thankful Thursday - The Condensed Edition

I have been so incredibly blessed, it is hard to know where to begin. I feel like I should do a few posts highlighting these great experiences, but I also don't want to bore you...hmm, we'll just see I guess. I'll do my best to condense my long stories into short stories so I don't lose you by the end. :D

I would say the biggest blessing last week was the opportunity to be convicted of a wrong that needed to be made right and actually obeying! I won't go into details here, but I will say that it was a huge blessing to see how God was working through the situation in His perfect timing. It was something I could never have planned on my own. I am so thankful for this experience.

This is slightly strange, considering how frequently I've been discussing music on here lately, but I'm thankful for the lack of music. For years, I have fallen asleep to music, and I would always say it helped me to sleep better. Well, because of a computer issue a few weeks ago, I had to fall asleep without any music, and I've come to find that I actually really like silence sometimes. It's even gone so far that I don't turn on the radio at work at all. Crazy, huh? I still LOVE music, but it is good not to be dependent on it.

A huge thing from this week was beginning to volunteer at a nearby nursing home! I went in for orientation on Tuesday and then went straight to work. I was there on Tuesday for 5 hours, and I really feel I learned a lot. I will say that it is not easy emotionally, but it'll be an excellent experience for me. One of the hardest things is being reminded of my grandpa, but I can remember the care we gave him in our home and be happy. Anyway, I'm really excited about continuing to volunteer in the upcoming weeks. I truly feel that this is where God wants me, and He's going to teach me a lot about life and about myself.

Other Thankful tidbits:
~ Dancing again! It's been a while since I've really been dancing, so it was great to get back into this week.
~ Work has been really great.
~ I've been able to play piano at a local church that has a wonderful grand piano.
~ I've gone shopping twice with a friend.
~ Hearing how God has been working in the lives of friends.
~ Meeting some wonderful new people.
~ Learning how to make something new.
~ A new computer power cord!
~ Wonderful friends and family who continue to remind me of my blessings.
~ A truly uplifting day yesterday where I heard no negative thoughts and was reminded of the positives.

I feel like my list could just continue to go on and on, so I'm going to stop now and just keep praising my Lord for His beauty in my life.