Monday, January 20, 2020

a Lot of thoughts

One of my favorite things to do with my mentoree is study the Bible in-depth. We’ve been making our way through Genesis and today we were in chapter 19. We both concurred that this is one of our least favorite chapters! I was surprised with how much we pulled out of it anyway!


There is so much that we can’t fully understand in this story. So much of it feels entirely evil!  How could any father give up his daughters? How could an entire city be so evil
that “every old and young gathered” to pursue evil? The overall question we both had was, why would Lot choose to live here?? He knew how evil it was, so why did he stay in the  first place? 

But there were sections of this story that really stood out to me for our lives today.

 “But the men reached out their hands and pulled Lot into the house with them, and shut the door. And they struck the men who were at the doorway of the house with blindness, both small and great, so that they became weary trying to find the door.”
‭‭Genesis‬ ‭19:10-11

God is continuing to impress on me that I can trust Him. Lot didn’t. He tried to protect his angelic company by promoting a different avenue of evil, and then the angels took over and protected the whole family. 

There are so many things I want to be able to control, but I need to trust that God is perfectly capable of taking care of me without my help. He is big enough.

So Lot went out and spoke to his sons-in-law, who had married his daughters, and said, “Get up, get out of this place; for the LORD will destroy this city!” But to his sons-in-law he seemed to be joking.”
‭‭Genesis‬ ‭19:14‬ ‭

When God speaks, do we listen? How often do we brush His words aside as unimportant? I’ve been truly fortunate to have God speak through several friends lately, but it makes me me wonder how often God has spoken and I’ve paid no attention! My prayer for this year is that our eyes, minds, and hearts will be open to the movement of the word of God!


“And while he lingered, the men took hold of his hand, his wife’s hand, and the hands of his two daughters, the LORD being merciful to him, and they brought him out and set him outside the city.”
‭‭Genesis‬ ‭19:16‬ ‭


First off, we have to note that despite knowing the evilness of the city, knowing the angelic presence to save him, and knowing that everything would be destroyed: Lot still lingered! It seems absolutely shocking that Lot wouldn't run to safety as soon as possible,  but how often do we do the same thing?

Sin is pleasurable! We are naturally drawn to evil, it seems. So how often have we been convicted of sin in our lives and yet lingered in it? Maybe we thought the sin wasn’t “that bad” or maybe we thought we could just stop whenever we want by our own power! I have definitely lingered in areas of my life that weren’t for my best. 

Despite Lot lingering in this city of evil, God was merciful and forcibly removed him and his family from Sodom. God saves Lot and his family even though they went unwillingly. Have you ever felt God was dragging you, kicking and screaming, into something new? I certainly have! This verse provided so much comfort! Not only can I trust God to help me on this journey, but I can trust that He knows what is in my best interest and will continue to direct me even when I’m struggling to want to go along with Him. 

There is so much more we could discuss about this chapter, but I’ll end with this:

“And it came to pass, when God destroyed the cities of the plain, that God remembered Abraham, and sent Lot out of the midst of the overthrow, when He overthrew the cities in which Lot had dwelt.”
‭‭Genesis‬ ‭19:29

Lot didn’t deserve saving. He fought back so many times, but God still saved him, and it’s easy to wonder why until we get to verse 29. Then we learn that it’s foundation was Abraham’s relationship with God, not Lot’s. It made me wonder, as a child of God, how much can my prayers influence the course of someone’s life? It’s a thought provoking idea that I think we should all consider. 

Sunday, January 12, 2020

Choices

Choices. There are too many of them. For most young couples considering a family, the choice is simple: biological. But when pursuing biological children isn’t easy, then what? Adoption? Surrogacy? IVF? Embryo adoption? Then you can break adoption down even further to domestic infant, international, and foster to adopt!

Do you focus on one route at a time? Two? Three? How many options are you capable of juggling at the same time? There are simply too many choices. 

When we started the adoption process two years ago, our initial tasks included determining what situations we were open to seeing. Even more choices to pick. 

This entire process to become parents has been inundated with choices, and I think it almost gives us a false sense of control. But the truth is we have zero control. We can try to help it along, but we can’t control the end result. We can’t force a pregnancy to happen or last. We can’t manage our social media so that just the right person sees it. And we wouldn’t be able to change the outcome of reunification goals in foster care. We can’t control our desire to be parents, and it’s really hard. 

Social media has been especially hard, I think. How much should we share, and when does it become too much? How do we accurately  portray our personalities and characters through pictures and printed words? What is the best way to describe that our life may not be adventurous, but is safe, loving, and good? How do you promote yourself when you feel there is nothing new to say?

Every day there are choices, some are more difficult than others. While we still continue pursuing children, what choice will we make in how we live our lives? The choice God has been impressing on me is giving up my idea of control. Every day, I need to choose to give up the fist grip I have over our lives. I need to trust that God is so beyond capable of fulfilling every one of our dreams and desires. And every day I need to make the choice to pursue God first. He is the choice that will never end, every other choice will pass away. 

Having so many choices is difficult, exhausting, and emotional...but God is bigger.