This year I’ve started a new habit of doing Bible studies with friends in the you version app. I’ve love the motivation and accountability it has given me. I have spent so much more time in the Word than probably any other year. Every once and a while, something in the study will hit me, and today, this was it!
- “I praise you, Sovereign Lord, for bringing good from life’s hard times and for allowing me to experience the wilderness for my good and your glory.”
I loved this! Thanking God for our trials because they were for our good and His glory. That’s definitely something I try to do. It may seem crazy, but I don’t think I would want any different outcome for my life so far. Going through four miscarriages has been the most difficult season one my life, but if just one of my pregnancies lasted, I wouldn’t have four babies waiting for me. The timing wouldn’t have worked. And I wouldn’t trade a single one of them. I rejoice in the fact that they each have a name and a personality, and I still am their mother. I will get to meet them one day!
Going through the heartache of losing them has made me a much better person. There have been so many times I have questioned people inappropriately just because I am curious. Now I’ve been on the opposite side and know how painful those questions can be. I’m still curious, and I still have to fight back those questions, but I have such a heart for those who have gone through similar circumstances, so the fight is worth it!
Going through my losses has given me a much greater perspective on being a parent. I’ll have rough days, but I pray that God would never let me forget the journey it took to become a parent. God allowing my trials has given me such an appreciation for one day hearing a little voice call me Mom.
Waiting for what seems like an eternity to meet my baby helps me remember to give our birthmom space. Her time in the hospital will be her only time being the only mom. Those will be her memories, and I can imagine it would feel like an eternity to not have your baby with you every day.
Because I have lost children, I am so much more in awe of birth parents who see their situation and recognize that adoption is the better option for their little one. That kind of sacrifice can only come from the deepest of love.
So yes, I am grateful for my losses and trials. I’m grateful that God has a plan. I am grateful that somewhere out there is a baby that God is preparing for us. I’m grateful that somewhere out there are birth parents that God is calling us to love. The waiting is hard, and sometimes sad, but it will be so worth it in the end.
