Benefits of Volcanic Ash

I have come to realize that God likes to change my plans to show me how much better His are. It was my plan to leave Germany on the 19th of April, but because of the volcano in Iceland, all air transportation was discontinued.

On Monday the 19th I was really struggling with how my plans were so drastically upset. I am not one who deals well with change. I like to know and analyze what is going to happen. I really had to pray and ask God to give me a peace about the new situation I found myself in.  And you know what? He did. He reminded me of how many things I had wanted to do over my year that I wasn't able to do because of my job. He gave me a reason for being there.

Tuesday was a really big day for me emotionally. I was still dealing with giving up my plans to God's will, but He was helping me. I had to deal once again with my boss on an uncomfortable subject, and I was able to do something that I have difficulty with. I stood up for myself, and I was able to give her a firm 'no'. I am still really proud of myself for that. I was also able to begin the process of going through my past year and dealing with the issues for myself. It was a really important day for me.

Wednesday was such a blessed day! I went to the alien's office and was able to get a pardon for my expired visa. That had been a matter of great stress to me, but God worked it out. He decided to delay my friend's arrival on purpose so that I would have a longer time with Him, and it was so good! The time with my friend spent in Hamburg was really fun and a great blessing to me. And then small group just topped it off. It was just an excellent time talking to my friends more and getting to know them, and then the girls broke off for a prayer time and it was one of the most powerful prayer times of my life. It was so incredible! What a blessing it was to me!

Everything was pretty calm on Thursday. I was able to get school things done and have a nice chat with Emily. Then I went to Hamburg to stay with the Brewers for two nights. Thursday nights are their small group night, so I went with Buddy to that, and it was awesome! I am so glad I was able to go.

Friday was another truly blessed day. I had the time to walk by the Alster and study more in Psalms. It was such a beautiful day. In the afternoon I went with Krista to the Reeperbahn, which is the main Red Light district in Hamburg. My hosts in Germany had tried to persuade me to go there with them before, but that did not appeal to me, so I was truly grateful to go with my friend. I didn't see it through the eyes of my host family, but I got to see it through the eyes of a woman who loves the people who work there. Such a blessing. And then on Friday night I went with Krista to the Hansaplatz in the St. Georg section of Hamburg. You can read my account of it here. It was such a blessing to join her in that effort. One of the best things for me was the opportunity to sing praise and worship songs with all my heart and not caring at all what people thought of me. It was such an exciting experience for me.

Saturday has already been documented in this blog by "Exploring Hamburg!" It was really awesome to go around and see the sights that I had never had a chance to visit. It was such a blessing to have my good friends hosting me for my two nights in Hamburg proper. Thank you, thank you!! :D

Church on Sunday was so great. I was able to meet a group of students from Singapore, and that was brilliant! We talked a lot, and we all ended up joining the young adults group from church and going to the beach. It was so much fun. The weather was perfect for it too. Little did I know that this was the last time I would see most of my friends!

Honestly, Monday was a rough day for me. I began dealing with the same feelings of not having a purpose anymore. It all became exasperated when I got a phone call stating that I needed to leave the country as soon as possible because of an issue with my visa. I had (at this point) been planning on staying until Monday the third of May. God decided to change that one on me too. I dealt with the stress of it all for maybe an hour, but with the prayer of good friends and the grace of God, I was able to overcome the overwhelming feelings and just appreciate the time that I had been given. I was really happy that one of my better friends from church was already scheduled to come over to the Hoffmann's that night, so that was at least one friend that I got to say a proper goodbye to. The night ended well, with a good movie watched, all my junk packed, and many prayers said.

I came to realize that God had originally changed my plan (despite my moaning) and gave me one of the best weeks I ever had in Germany. And if God could do that, why couldn't He take this 'plan change' and make it an incredible event too? God is so good. So yes, this is where I can say, there are definite benefits to volcanic ash! Amazing how God works, eh? :D

Exploring Hamburg!

The Alster! This is just a short walk from the Brewers house.

I just liked the swan.

Krista took me out for some Kiez Curry. 

It was really delicious!! 

Here is the Rathaus, which is the German 'Town Hall'.

St. Michaels church. It was a lovely day to see it!

It has, I believe, the second oldest organ in..Germany. Don't quote me on that. 

The left side of the church.

They had already roped off the front part for services, so I had to work on the angles a bit.

The right side of the church.

From the top of the tower! The black steeple is from the St. Nicolai church. You can read more about it here.

Here's the Rathaus again!

St. Michaels from the ground.

One last look at it.. *sigh*

St. Nicolai from the ground. If you didn't click the link, it is a war memorial.

It is mainly just the steeple left from WWII. 

You can see the steeple through the opening. Yeah, I just like this picture. :P

So yup! Krista, thank you! It was great to see the sights that I've always wanted to visit! 

This just gives you all a little piece of the city of Hamburg.

No Longer A Title

 Now, I don't about you, but the term "prostitutes" has always had a few opinions tagged along in my mind.
"They want to do this, they are different from me, I would never do THAT!"
I've always seen prostitutes as only a title. I titled them for what they do, and not who they are. Over this year, I have been able to learn more about the actuality of their lives through a missionary family that attends my church. You can check out their blog here.
Anyway, I did something for the first time last night. Street ministry. A topic that has scared me for many years. I have never felt comfortable just going up to people and talking to them. Last night, I did it. But not only did I do it, but I did it in Hansaplatz which is a known area of prostitution in Hamburg. I was really nervous going there with my friend, but I knew that God has protected her, and He would protect me as well.

We went and gathered with the team to pray and get our chocolates, and then we just got on our way. They always have at least one guy in each minor group, so our group was Claus, Krista, and myself. We set out and saw two girls right away. Gave them some chocolate, asked how they were, and that was pretty much it!

*note* Something I did not understand before closer discussions with Krista is that the girls who are standing out on the streets doing their job are not dressed as you might think. They really just look normal, jeans, jackets, shoes..the usual.

The night was spent going down the streets and giving out chocolates and initiating conversations as much as possible. I didn't do that much talking, because it was all in German, but I understood most things.

Right towards the beginning we had a conversation with two girls that Krista has talked to before. It's nice when she has already done the foundational relationship work. They already know her and probably feel more comfortable talking to her than to some one new...like me. :P That's fine. Anyway, these two girls..they are 19. I am 19.  How are they there, and I'm not? 
The one, oh, she is just precious in God's eyes!! She has dealt with the loss of her mother at the 16, and now she's living on the streets just trying to survive. She's interested in God, and she wants to talk to Krista. God is moving in her heart! Oh what a blessing it was to meet her.

I am not going to go into all the experiences of last night..I don't have time for that. But really, the thing that effected me the most was this: These are PEOPLE..they aren't a title. They are girls who are hurting, and they are girls who are lost. These are people that God loves dearly. I am in no way better than those girls on the street. Wow. I can't really wrap my head around last night quite yet. I think I'll do another blog about it later. But yeah. God is just so good. He is teaching me so much.

Aliens

Not the green kind. 

I had to go to the 'aliens' office, or the foreign affairs office. However you like it! :-P 

I had to go to extend my visa for another two weeks. I was slightly concerned that it would be difficult, but it ended up going really well.

I think we were there for less than 15 minutes.

And the result...

One happy camper!

Along the way we had some fun...

I was even given a sign...My time in Germany is..

NOT OVER!

Döner!

There was never a doubt in my mind that I would do a döner post at some point. I figure, why not now?

Döner is the most wonderful food ever invented. So delicious!!

It is of Turkish origin. And it is the most popular fast food in Germany today.

First you have your flat bread (or a pita), then you add thinly sliced, crunchy lamb meat. That is important.

Then you have the sauce. Here is a recipe I found online. Have not tried it myself though.

For tsatsiki sauce

• 1/2 seedless cucumber (usually plastic-wrapped), peeled, seeded, and chopped (1 cup)
• 1 cup plain whole-milk yogurt
• 1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
• 1 small garlic clove, minced
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
• 1/4 cup chopped fresh mint

Add onto that some veggies. Both red and white cabbage, onions, tomatoes, cucumbers, lettuce.
They also put some oil-herb sauce on the veggies. The herbs are oregano and parsley. 

What you have then...is simply...delicious. 

Exhibit A. How can you resist?

Here is the döner shop on my very last visit. Sigh.

The workers who always talked to me.

My friends know me well, as is signified by this excellent going away present. Thank you, thank you!!

Döner...I will miss you dearly.

Anxiety

Sometimes I wonder if God deliberately changes up my plans to remind me that HE is in control, and not ME. I love plans. I HATE not knowing what is going to happen. I guess you could really say that I hate the unknown. In that sense, I really can be flexible. You want to go out to eat? Sure, just call me up, I'll be there! That's something casual to me and totally inside my comfort zone.

But if you were to call me up and say 'hey, I need you to drive two hours away to pick something up for me," that's when things would get sticky. Then I would ask all these questions - Why am I going? Can anyone else do it? Whose car will I drive? How do I get there? Who will I meet? Do they know I'm meeting them? Will it be difficult to find them? What do they look like? What time do I need to be there? - The list could go on, I assure you.

Yes, I am an anxious person. I admit it. And I have an incredibly difficult time just giving my plans up to God, but it's really illogical NOT to give them to Him. My God is in control of the entire universe, and He still has infinite time for my plans. I think I should trust it to Him. Much easier said than done.

I was ...-planning-... on leaving Germany on the 19th, which is tomorrow. Has anyone heard the news? Basically, name any major airport in Europe and this is the status.. CLOSED. There was a volcano in Iceland last week, and the dust from it is effecting the entire world! So many flights have been canceled, it's possible that I won't get out of the country until NEXT week.

I really don't like it when plans like this change. UNKNOWN. But, this will give me the chance I never had before - enjoy Germany without having a job here! I am just going to have to wait. And it also gives me a brilliant excuse for being in the country after my visa expires. My friend doesn't think that will be any issue. So, I believe that we'll begin the ...count-up? How many days will it take me this time? So thankful for friends to stay with right now. God is in Control!

restlessness

I'm in the in-between stage now.
I have my bags packed, but I'm not allowed to leave!
Why did I pack them so early?
Ah, I remember.
I wanted to force my mind to understand the point that I AM going home.
My mind understands that point pretty well now, and it just wants to go home!
Not that I don't love it here, and not that I haven't had a good experience,
but if I am going to go home, why wait any longer?

Naturally, I am happy that I will still be here to spend time with my friend tomorrow,
and also on Saturday, and then spend time with other friends on Saturday, and then Sunday..friends, friends and more friends! Yes, I am totally excited about that!!! And I'm glad it's happening because then I won't be so bored!

Aww, I just talked to my dad on Skype. That makes me feel better.
We're just always going over my flight plan, and what I need to do at the airport.
I like to be prepared.
I hate not knowing what is going on!!
So this is a good thing.

Now, I'm very tired, so I'm going to bed.
Let tomorrow begin!! :D

It was perfect

I always have my alarm set for 5:45am, which gives me enough time to 'snooze' the clock twice. I almost always do this. It is just my routine. But yesterday morning I was bright awake at the first beep of my clock. So I decided that it was an excellent time to do some more studying.

I am studying in Hebrews right now, and I was starting on the tenth chapter. I really like this chapter a lot, but I haven't finished my detailed look at it. Need to finish it today!

Anyway, it was talking about how the law in the Old testament was just a glimpse of the final redemption plan. And how the animal sacrifices were not sufficient, and they had to be made repeatedly. Every day, there were people making sacrifices. It never ended.

But Christ came in the form of man because only a perfect man could pay for sinful men. He came to take away the old and establish the new. He made His offering ONCE and it is STILL enough to cover all of our sins. I know that I forget many times how much more Christ is worth than any number of us put together. If we were to put all of creation on one side of the scale, and only Christ on the other, He would outweigh us in a second. I don't think that is really something we can grasp this side of heaven.

One of the things I love about this chapter is that it states that Jesus is sitting. Do you realize how significant that is? Christ is not in heaven, pacing around and wringing His hands about the state of this world. No, He is sitting. His job is complete. He has no concerns. He is fully assured of the sufficiency of His offering onto God. He does not need to try to do more good works or be a better person. He is PERFECT. He willingly gave up His life out of love. How incredible. Christ is in supreme control of the universe.

I am so glad that I have a Savior who knows what He's doing, and what is best for me. I'm so glad that He is in control. But you know what I love even more? I love that He is HOLY! He is set apart from all of us. An illustration that I like is this: Who is more like God; the angel Michael, or a worm in the ground? The answer...neither. There is nothing that we can compare God too, because He is totally separate from us. A part of that holiness is His purity. Can you imagine having an all powerful God who had an evil heart like us? How awful would that be? But no, He is all powerful and completely pure. Ah, I love it!

Cuxhaven

So this is a bit delayed, but I thought I would share a little more about my trip to Cuxhaven. And I just learned how to upload pictures, so you can see them too! Sweet!!






Richard and I were on this beach most of the time flying his kite.



I found this boot with one footprint beside it, and I just thought it was funny.









His kite is one that you hold with two straps across your wrists. It was moving too fast for picture taking.
It is quite big, and when the wind is strong, it will pull you along in the sand! So much fun for Richard!











I was thrilled when I got back to our room to find this beautiful sunset. What an awesome God we have to create such beauty!












We took a side trip to Bremerhafen. There we visited an indoor mall that looks like it is outdoors. So cute!!
They had a very nice eating area in the center. We stopped there for ice cream.










On the way to Cuxhaven we kept seeing signs for the village Otterndorf and I made the joke that people really wanted us to go there. I'm thinking you had to be there in order for it to be funny. Either way, we decided to give in to the demands, and we went there for our last lunch.

It was such a cute place to go.


Very old. It even had all the twisting and winding roads. It was lovely.






We ate lunch in the Ratskeller, which means 'the basement of the court house'. It was a very old building. So lovely, and the food was delicious!




And my blog wouldn't be complete without a quickly captured picture of the Otterndorf sign that graced us with it's presence so often!

Sea Air - 11 Days Left!

I went to Cuxhaven last week and I think the sea air did something to me. :P
For some reason, I have been able to leave my computer behind for the majority of a day, take a different bus, go to small group in a different location, EAT FISH, be willing to ride a bike, though it ended up being too small, and I was able to have fun with one of the boys! Now, all of that may seem really trivial, but honestly, they were big steps for me.

My computer - my constant companion under the pretense of my only connection with my family. I really don't talk to my family that much anyway, so it's just an addiction, and I know it.
"You shall have no other gods before Me"

Both the different bus and location - my fear of doing new things. I like having a plan, and sticking to it. I feel really pressured when things are different, and it makes me very nervous.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart"

Eating fish - oh boy, this one has been a barrier for a long time. I have never appreciated the 'art' of fish eating, but I decided last night that I was just going to do it, and it ended up being really good!
(Anyone got a good verse for that?)

Riding bikes - I'm a fearful person as a whole, and bikes have almost always been on the list of "NEVER". But, I actually want to try riding a bike again and I plan on doing it for sure once I am back in the States.
"When I am afraid, I will trust in You."

Having fun - this has been more difficult of late because attitudes have gotten worse. And I don't mean that only on the boys' side. My attitude has gotten worse too.
"Do everything without complaining or arguing."

I know that the sea air is really not the cause of this, because God is the only One that can change a stubborn heart like mine. He has taught me so much over this year in Germany. I hope I never forget it!

I can't change him.

Just sitting in the kitchen right now. Just waiting for him to be done. Today has been rough.
Ugh. He's the boy I am an au pair for. I've observed his ups and downs for almost a year.
I've tried to help. It doesn't really seem to matter what I do. He's pushed me farther than most people can. If I were ever to start screaming and cursing, it would be because of him.

Okay, maybe that's a bit harsh.
But it has been a more frustrating year..then I think I've EVER had before!
The most frustrating part...he's just like me.

It's scary to know what I could have been like without Christ's redemption in my life.
I have seen the most horrible things in myself by looking at this boy. I am so grateful that Christ changed my life. That is something I definitely will take home with me; the knowledge and understanding of how depraved I am just shows me again and again how great GOD is! Oh, we serve an awesome God!

He's just like me..and I can't change him. Have you ever had that experience? I think in a way it's like being a parent and not wanting to let your children make the same mistakes you did. I have invested so much time and care into this boy and to be leaving now? Oh, it's so hard to leave and feel like not only did things not get any better, but they're getting worse by the day!

I know I came here for a reason and I have to be satisfied that the only reason I came might have been for me. That God brought me here to teach me more of who I am, and more of who He is. That should be good enough for me...but is it? *sigh*

Yes, today has been a rough day. I am tired, and ready to go back to my room and just curl up in a ball and sleep. But, not only has God provided me with this job, but He is going to sustain me through it. Thank You, Lord! Off to do more history now. :)

GERMAN!!

I only have 16 days left in Germany, and you know what I did for the first time today? I had a full conversation auf Deutsch with my American friend! And the really amazing part..it felt comfortable.

For so long I have been afraid of speaking German because I felt incapable of speaking correctly. You know, I still don't speak correctly...but I've realized that it's okay! The most important thing is that I can communicate, and I really can. Sure, there's thousands of things for me still to learn. But I can actually have a meaningful conversation with someone now. That is so exciting to me.

The process has been a slow one. For my first six months at least, I had no desire to speak in German with anyone who could speak English. If they could understand English, we spoke English. Nothing could persuade me otherwise.

In my fourth month in Germany, a new girl came to live at my boss' house. She is a year younger than I am. We didn't really talk at the beginning, but as more time passed, we began to connect with each other through our similar difficulties. I feel like I took her under my wing, so to speak. I find myself hanging around the kitchen more often just to talk to her as she does her work.

One thing that I really liked about talking to her in the beginning is that she didn't slow down when talking to me. You know how people will slow down when they feel they aren't understood? Well, a lot of times I didn't understand what she said, but I felt more comfortable knowing that she believed I COULD know it. :P I know I talk quickly to her in English too. Just habit.

I think she was the first person I truly strove to communicate with. Now, after being in Germany for nearly a year, I'm feeling more at my ease. I know that my vocabulary in small, and I know my grammar is horrible, and I know that I make many mistakes. But I also know that I am learning, and I'm growing..and this is something I CAN do.