I can't change him.

Just sitting in the kitchen right now. Just waiting for him to be done. Today has been rough.
Ugh. He's the boy I am an au pair for. I've observed his ups and downs for almost a year.
I've tried to help. It doesn't really seem to matter what I do. He's pushed me farther than most people can. If I were ever to start screaming and cursing, it would be because of him.

Okay, maybe that's a bit harsh.
But it has been a more frustrating year..then I think I've EVER had before!
The most frustrating part...he's just like me.

It's scary to know what I could have been like without Christ's redemption in my life.
I have seen the most horrible things in myself by looking at this boy. I am so grateful that Christ changed my life. That is something I definitely will take home with me; the knowledge and understanding of how depraved I am just shows me again and again how great GOD is! Oh, we serve an awesome God!

He's just like me..and I can't change him. Have you ever had that experience? I think in a way it's like being a parent and not wanting to let your children make the same mistakes you did. I have invested so much time and care into this boy and to be leaving now? Oh, it's so hard to leave and feel like not only did things not get any better, but they're getting worse by the day!

I know I came here for a reason and I have to be satisfied that the only reason I came might have been for me. That God brought me here to teach me more of who I am, and more of who He is. That should be good enough for me...but is it? *sigh*

Yes, today has been a rough day. I am tired, and ready to go back to my room and just curl up in a ball and sleep. But, not only has God provided me with this job, but He is going to sustain me through it. Thank You, Lord! Off to do more history now. :)