Names are very important to me. They have been ever since God named Rachel. I knew that I really wanted God to name this baby too. We had many people tell us they really felt that the baby was a girl. I felt the same way! MMM and I did have a few discussions with each other teasing back-and-forth that it was definitely a girl for me or it was definitely a boy for him but in the end it did seem more likely that it was a girl.
While I was in the middle of losing the baby I did ask God for a name, but everything was so confusing that there was nothing clear after I asked. There are several names that were in my head but none of them seemed right. I was getting a little frustrated because I really felt like this baby needed to have a name and that it had a name already, I just needed to learn what it was. I even started asking some friends if they had any thoughts on what the baby's name was. None of them had the same name that was kind of going around in my head. I was actually glad, because I didn't really want that to be the name of the baby.
Before I had the chance to ask her, a friend sent me a message about a name! Here's what she said...
"I just wanted to pass along that God told me a name when I was initially praying for you (when the Lord told me the baby was your daughter). I didn't want to share the name at the time as I didn't have a chance to check what it meant when I heard it as it is unusual, but I asked over and over again and kept getting the same name The name is Ishael. I knew that the root -el means "of God", but I had no idea what Isha meant. My knowledge of Hebrew is pretty close to nothing. So, after I got back from the trip, I looked up the root and it is used in Genesis in reference to Eve and Adam. Isha means "woman" and Ish means "man". So the name means "Woman of God", which I thought was quite powerful and amazing as I kept hearing that the baby was a girl. I am not sure if this is what you are supposed to name the baby, but perhaps this is the name of the baby in heaven. I just thought I would pass this along."
This is amazing in a few ways. When I was praying for a name and I had several in my head, I just felt like they weren't right because they didn't have "-el" in them. My friend learned the name in a very similar way that I had with the first two. It was clear, persistent, and meaningful. It was such a marked difference from the cloudy confusion of names in my head that I knew that she had heard God. And it technically isn't a name. I couldn't find it in baby name search engines. So it doesn't seem possible that God wasn't involved.
But you know what struck me the most? With Rachel and Michael, they've always just been that. I've never thought of them with our last name. It just didn't seem to fit. Now Ishael has the only middle name (because I couldn't get Grace out of my head) and it would seem more natural to have a last name, but I still can't see it!
None of our babies have our family name, but all three of them have God's name literally in their name. And it was like God was telling me this morning that these babies might have been in me, but they have always belonged to Him, and they are in His family, carrying His name.
Do you realize how insanely awesome that it? The tiny little seed-size beings that were in me are special, treasured, meaningful beings in the King's family!
Truly what a blessing it is to know that they are in His presence right now. Maybe they can even sing in three part harmony as they worship the creator.
That brings joy to my singers' heart.
If I ever have children on earth I will gladly bear this burden, but having children in heaven brings so much peace. I never have to worry about their salvation, and where they stand with God! They have been worshipping Jesus in perfect adoration from the moment of their existence, really there can't be a better life to have than the life they have gained with Christ.
So now there are three.
Rachel - EDD 7/7/13
Michael -EDD 10/17/13
Ishael Grace - EDD 5/3/16
