Balloons

This month is Pregnancy and Infant Loss awareness month, with October 15th being the specific day of remembrance. I didn't realize this until a friend of mine was sweet enough to give me a very good resource.  I found out that there was going to be a candlelight memorial service for those who've experienced loss on the 15th. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to attend, but then one of my dearest friends had a suggestion. She asked me if I'd like to send some balloons up with her. That meant so much to me....

So two days later we went to the park MMM and I got married at. It's a very special park to me, and a gorgeous one at that. It was a pretty windy day, and I'd been worried it would rain, but it cleared up just in time. My friend "S" picked up 3 balloons - a purple one for Rachel, a blue one for Michael, and a green one for her own son whom she lost a few years ago.

At first neither of us really knew what to say, but that didn't last long. We started talking openly about our losses and how they've affected us. I talked about how that day was Michael's estimated due date. Those who have miscarried will understand the pain that day can bring. I talked about the struggle of feeling like I should be nine months pregnant now and the reality of not being pregnant at all. She shared more of the pain of the loss of her young son, and some of the most difficult things for her to handle. We just talked to each other about our lost children and how to experience grief and also move past the circumstance. Above all, we both agreed that we never want to forget.

 She sent up her balloon to honor her son's birthday that just had passed. I sent up my balloons to honor those who never made it to their birthday. It was a truly powerful thing to do. We saw the wind lift our balloons and carry them away. I noticed right away that my balloons were tangled together. We watched them until they were specks in the Eastern sky, so far away from us. All the while my two balloons stayed together. It was like they knew they were meant for siblings almost close enough to be twins. Those balloons carried my notes and my heart toward heaven. I will always remember seeing them simply float away.

40+

So, MMM decided a change had to happen. Our pile of shoes NEEDED to decrease.

I guess he was right. 

We laid out every pair of shoes that were currently in the house.

There were over 40! That truly is ridiculous. 

My only defense is that some of them weren't actually mine, but that's a small justification.

MMM had fun documenting just how many shoes we had.

He has been prodding me to get rid of shoes probably our whole marriage!

We managed to get rid of nearly half.

Think we made a dent? I do.

But it does make me consider how spoiled we really are being here. 

It's the classic guilt inducer "hungry kids in China" or "shoe-less kids in Africa",

but even if I get rid of a few pairs of shoes, I'm really not doing much (if anything at all) to help those kids. 

Should I get rid of all my shoes and go barefoot? I don't know. 

I think we should be generous with what we have. 

I think we should be willing to give up what we have when we come across people in need. 

It's not an easy thing to do. 

I pray we can all increase in generosity, so that in our generosity, the name of Jesus may be praised.

Our New House!

Well, it finally happened! After 6 months of looking at probably somewhere around 60ish houses, we actually own one! We moved in right at the end of July, and I'm happy to say we're almost all the way unpacked.

It has been an interesting adventure to be sure! There was one house we thought for sure was the right one, but God had other plans. I'm so glad that we have this house. It is so much better than the other houses we looked at. It's so wonderful to finally feel at home.

I'm hoping to do a video tour for you all, but it may take a while before my house is in fit condition to be seen. :P

We've been extremely blessed with some newer furniture and having the freedom to arrange things as we want! We also have a lot of plans to fix up the place the way we want. The longer we're here, the more I think we won't accomplish everything we set out to do, but I'm finding that we just might not need to do it.  I had big plans to remodel the kitchen to make it more open, but now I don't think it really needs to be more 'open'.

The one project we can't delay on is the horrid peach/pink bathroom. Unbeknownst to us before buying the house, the horrid bathroom had some water damage. This means we'll have to replace a portion of the floor, and since we will already be fixing the floor, we'll need to buy new flooring, and since we're doing that we should buy a new tub/toilet to replace the horrid pink ones we have..yup, they're pink too. And then to finish it off, we'll make the tub into a shower! So that is our biggest project to undertake. I'm hoping it won't take us too long.

Thor has adjusted very well to living in the new house and is loving having a big back yard to play in all day. We've even been able to leave him outside for short amounts of time. It would be great if eventually he'd be able to stay outside all day!  I'll leave pictures/video for another day. Thanks to those who have been praying for us in our efforts to buy a house, we really appreciate it!

The Declaration

Have you read the Declaration lately? It was MMM's idea to read it yesterday, and I'm so glad we did! I generally steer away from political issues on this blog, but I was just so struck with this that I can't help sharing.

As we were reading MMM made the comment that when thinking about that time in the world, it's easy to just think that the King was being unreasonable and that's why they declared independence. Being so far removed from that time, it's easy to gloss over and forget why we did separate from England. But as we continued reading and got to their list of offenses of the King, it was horrifying to hear what was really happening. Even more horrifying to me was seeing a lot of comparisons between that time and now.

"For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:"

That sounds familiar, right?

"For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:"

Patriot Act, anyone?

"For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:"

Again, we have the Patriot Act and the government's 'authority' to detain.

"He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their hands."

Ok, it's not that bad right now, but we do have a government that wants to 'fight for peace' and in so doing are creating enemies in the nations across the world. 

We are all familiar with the section that begins "we hold these truths..." but just take a closer look at it. Consider the price these men had to pay for standing up against tyranny. Appreciate the courage they had and the wisdom they showed. Decide for yourself if this country today is a nation that would have made our Founding Father's proud that they did pay that price. Truly read and consider the words they wrote.

"We hold these truth to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life,Liberty and teh pursuit of Happiness.

That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, - 

That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles an organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. 

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient cause; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more dispose to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. 

But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security."

Remembering Rachel..and Michael..

Before I posted about my experience losing Rachel I actually had lost another little one. I just wasn't ready to share anything about it.

It was a different situation only in the fact that I didn't have the innocent excitement at being pregnant that I did the first time. I had all the same symptoms, in fact, it was pretty much a carbon copy of how things went the first time. I did all the same research that I'd done before, and I found an online community that I eagerly became a part of, and I've truly learned to love it. It is a community of women in pretty much every stage of life, and they have some great advice and support there. Anyway, it was a huge blessing for me to have this community to reach out to as I was waiting to know for sure I was pregnant. It was a really hard time though, because MMM was off on a work trip for over two weeks!

So it happened that I knew I was pregnant, and I lost it all while he was gone. It was so difficult dealing with it without him near by, but I was able to talk with him online often. Right away, I began to think 'am I going to ask God for another name', and before I could actually ask, the name "Michael" starting pounding into my head. Seriously, it was like the name was written on a nail and someone was hammering it into my forehead. It only stopped when I said "Ok, ok I get it! His name is Michael!" I can laugh at it a little now, because even in the midst of the darkness of loss, God still managed to get me out of my stupor and respond to Him.

I looked up what Michael means right then and it means "Who is like God?" I love that..I really do. It has been very special to me that my baby boy's name is Michael. It was like God was telling me "you don't need to understand why, just trust that I have everything under control". That was amazing to me. The truth is, I don't understand why I've lost two little ones already, but I do know that God is using my story and my experiences to be a blessing to others. I can praise Him for that!

Immediately after I lost him, I felt pretty numb. I almost didn't believe it was happening. It is amazing the amount of guilt one can feel for not mourning 'enough'. I felt horrible that I wasn't as sad about losing Michael as I'd been about losing Rachel. But I just hadn't allowed myself to let the mourning start. It was about a month  later that I actually started to cry and feel sad and deal with losing him. It was very difficult, and I really wish I would have let it happen right away instead of letting it build up inside of me.

Mother's Day came this year, and I could only be sad. I struggled (and failed often) throughout the day to keep my crying to a minimum, but it wasn't really working. I'm grateful for the wonderful family I have at church who helped me get through the day with patience and great understanding. One of the hardest thing I've dealt with (and still do at times) is just the worry that my babies will be forgotten by those around me. That their short existence didn't count for much. But I know now that won't happen. And even if those around me forget, I won't, and MMM won't, and most importantly God won't forget our loss and pain.

MMM was very sweet on Mother's Day and dealt with a weepy wife all day. But the best thing he did was go buy this beautiful plant for me.

My favorite part is that while it's blooming, it's blooming in two colors. The white changes to purple, but for a while you see both white and purple. So when we have a house, we're going to plant that, and every year when it blooms I'll see the purple and white and will remember my Rachel and Michael.

The Waiting Continues

Yes, patience is still the lesson God is trying to teach me...only with a different subject now. We have been on the house hunt for quite a while now with little to show for it. The market in our area is crazy, and it's not uncommon for a house to sell within hours of listing.

We have learned a lot from all the (50+) houses we've seen...and our wants/needs list just seems to keep growing. It has been difficult to find a house that has every thing we need. The biggest problem has been the foundations. We've seen lots of lovely homes that have some serious issues.

One of the multiple offers we've submitted was actually accepted! We loved it..the location was good. It had a great back yard, and it really had a lot of character. We even had the home inspection done, and that's where we found out the foundation had some big problems. It was so disappointing! I was already moved in in my mind. But losing that house taught me not to hold too tightly to the things I have no control over.

We had to start at the beginning after that house....it had been our 3rd offer, then we did 2 more offers with nothing to show for it. I began to be very discouraged and frustrated with not knowing how much longer it would take! But God has been good. He has been keeping both of us busy which helps keep my mind off it for sure.

We are in the midst of doing another (our 6th) offer, and sadly I've lost a lot of my excitement at the process, but I know that Christ will be helping us make the right decisions. So now we just continue waiting....waiting.....waiting....

I know we'll get a house at some time...it just may not be in my timing, and I'm learning to be ok with that.

A lesson in Patience

Oh the horribly long lesson in patience. :P I think I've always struggled with patience (who doesn't really?). But it has been in the last 6 months or so that patience has been my constant argument with God. He has been patient with me, but I'm afraid I was never very patient with Him. I heard once that if you ask God for something, instead of just giving it to you, He'll give you the opportunity to grow in it. So, while I continued to ask for patience, He continually gave me situations I had no choice but to be patient in.

I could tell you of pretty much every situation in my most recent past that has heavily required my patience. Oh how many things I have waited for, and am still waiting on. But, that's not the point of this post. A verse that has come up in various conversations lately is Jeremiah 29:11 -

 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"

Oh the many times I've recited that verse and never really looked at what it said. Did you read it more carefully than I have in the past? It says right there that God has a plan for our lives. Our individual lives are not to complicated or too overwhelming for God to have control in every situation. But not only does He have plans... He has good plans for us. Better plans than we could ever bring about. But so often I like to steal the reigns out of God's hands and try to drive the buggy myself! Let's just say..that never goes very well. And yet He shows His magnificent character even more by being patient with me, and bringing me to a place where I am happy to give the reigns back to Him.

So, one of the biggest issues has been my unemployment. It has been stressful personally, and in pretty much every other major situation in my life.  I had the three months in Ohio where I half-heartedly looked for a temporary job, but then coming back to the Windy City, I thought for sure, I could get a job right away. In my all-knowing wisdom, it was quite apparent that everyone would be anxious to hire me as soon as I crossed the state border. *cough* That didn't go so well either. To be honest, I knew I didn't have much to recommend myself to a new employer, but I did feel I wouldn't have any issues.

Then with having the miscarriage I kinda put looking for a job on hold. I was grateful for a little time to adjust to being back home and allow my body the chance to get back to normal. But that didn't last too long. So the job hunt began. I looked and submitted applications time and time again. I had personal connections that seemed like I'd be a shoe-in for the job, and nothing happened. So many times I just knew that was the job for me...but I never got the job. This was very discouraging.

All this time, I had something against working with a temp agency. I just would not do it! I had no reason to dislike them, but I felt no peace in contacting them. Until one day I saw an ad for a bank position that I had to apply through an agency to even be considered! This was an agency I'd never heard of before (or so I thought), but for the first time I actually felt excited about working with them. ( I later found out that they were the same temp agency that two of my good friends have worked with and had told me about. whoops! :P)

So I put my application in with them, and they thought I'd be a perfect fit for that bank job. I even had two interviews for it, but again, I didn't get the job. I feel it was at this point that I just gave up any control I had over this situation. Apparently nothing I was doing was really helping. So I just let go of the reigns and waited to see what would happen with the agency (which I really like, btw).

It was maybe the next day or two that I got a call from them about a temp job working in an office as a receptionist while the full-time worker was on medical leave. I agreed immediately to do it with the understanding it would last about 3 weeks. My first week I was pretty nervous because it was something I'd never done before. It didn't take long to get to know the ladies in the office and to get comfortable in my situation. My only concern was that it would only last those 3 weeks, because I didn't know what I would do when they were done.

Well, I'm still working in that office, and now it's my fifth week with them. I'm so incredibly thankful to be working here because I have learned so much, and my confidence has grown incredibly. And I had to learn to be flexible because I've never known how long I would be here for sure.

Well, just about a week ago, I went to the bank to cash a check and saw a posting that they were hiring. (btw, a bank job has been my primary goal) I was actually able to speak with the branch manager while I was there and essentially gave him my verbal cover letter, and it went really well. And the thought came to me, wouldn't it just be something if I got the one job I just stumbled across?

I went back for an official interview a few days later and it was a lot of fun! I really enjoyed my time with them, and I felt (for the first time) that I nailed the interview! And the next morning they confirmed it by actually offering me the job! I cannot express how excited I was to get that call! It was amazing. For a long time I'd been in a place where I couldn't even imagine getting that phone call from anyone. But here it was, the phone call I'd been waiting for...a job at a bank..the bank I've used for years...close to my husband's job...in a smaller branch...with medical benefits..30 hours a week...and a flexible schedule. Basically, in every word - perfect. I couldn't have picked a better position if I'd be actively looking for it. Granted, I haven't started there yet, so there's still that hurdle to cross, but I am so excited! I already feel comfortable with the people I know there, and I am confident that I will fit in.

And to top it all off, I just got word today that the receptionist is going to try coming back next week for a few hours each day, and then completely the next week. And what do you know, that fits exactly to when I'll be starting at the bank. I'm just amazed at how God has worked everything out to the most minute detail. And here I was complaining to Him about my frustration, but He truly did have the best plan worked out. I am grateful for the job I've had here, and I'm beyond grateful for the opportunity I now have to work at a bank. Obviously, I could keep talking about this because I'm just that excited, but I'll leave this as a "short" story...rather than a real novel. :P

Rachel: Loss Turned to Gain

So, I have been thinking for quite a while about how I want to share this experience.  It is not an easy one to share, but I hope that God can use my story to bless someone else.  Maybe you have gone through the same struggle and you feel alone.  Hopefully my story will remind you that you are not alone in this at all.

A few months ago, I posted "Names" and "Name's Part Two" and discussed the importance of names in the Bible and also today. I shared stories of a friend of mine, and now I’ll share her last story.

My friend has several babies in heaven right now. Eventually it was adoption that gave them children. With her first baby gone to heaven, something special happened. She was at a Bible study when a stranger came up to her and told her that my friend needed to ask God what the gender and name was for her baby who was with Him. And that’s what my friend did. She asked, and she received.  Immediately, a name came to her mind, and this name has more significance in her life than I can tell you. But this is the story that leads to my story.

Many people probably don’t know this, but I have a baby up in heaven too. As it was, I barely had any time to be pregnant before I lost it. The pain I felt was the worst heart ache I have ever endured.  I didn’t know why then, but I think God allowed it and has been working through it to bless others already.  I didn’t know how to handle my loss.  To many people I’ve told, my loss hasn’t felt real to them because they never even knew I was pregnant. I can understand why it would be hard, but their unbelief just killed me. I needed them to know my pain, and they just couldn’t understand it.

Just like with any tragedy, or awkward situation, I had so many people trying to comfort me who were actually making me angry and upset by their careless words. There are still phrases that get me upset that people believe to be encouraging. One phrase that really got to me was “Don’t worry, you’ll see your baby in Heaven one day.”  I wanted to argue that they couldn’t know that for fact. I wanted to see my baby one day but the problem was this: I didn’t want to be encouraged. I wanted to be sad. I wanted to be emotionally distant. I didn’t want to build my hopes up for my future children just to have them dashed to the ground. It was a very difficult time for me (and still is sometimes).

But here’s where my friend’s story comes in to play. About two months after my miscarriage, I was just thinking about my baby when I remembered my friend’s story.  I was nervous to ask God those questions, but I figured I had nothing to lose. My biggest concern was it would just me talking to myself..making something up to help me feel better..not an answer from God.  But I asked anyway. I asked God what my baby’s name was. Immediately, I got a name: Rachel.  I was almost surprised that a name came that quickly! 

My concerns were taken away with that name, because I’ve never once considered naming my child Rachel. (Now if Eliana Mae came to mind, I’d know it was just me. :P) I looked up the meaning of Rachel right away. I was so curious because the name my friend had gotten was so significant. So I looked it up and Rachel means…sheep. Frankly I was disappointed.  It’s a beautiful name, but “sheep”? Really? But then the thought came to me. My baby is still innocent as a lamb and she will always be safe because she is already with her Shepherd.  A friend later reminded me that in Hebrew, words with “El” in them have the word “God” in them, so in my case, my daughter is God’s lamb. I really like that imagery. God loves her and has claimed her as His own.

That was such a comfort to me. It was in that moment that I truly understood that my baby is in Heaven. Our God loved her so much that He has given her a name. He allowed me to be her mom on earth for a short time, but now I will always be a mother. I may not have the physical proof of carrying a toddler around, but I am a mother, and no one can take that away from me.

One of the things I’ve learned in this process is how silence makes the thing we’re struggling with more powerful.  When I first was telling people about my miscarriage, it was so difficult and I could never get through the conversation without crying. Of course, crying isn’t a bad thing. It’s just not most wonderful thing if you’ve been crying all day like I was. Anyway, at first I didn’t know how to tell people. Bringing up the subject was awkward. It’s almost like the word ‘miscarriage’ is taboo.  The longer we don’t share our hurt with others, the harder it is going to be to overcome it.

Thank the Lord, there is a great community of people I’ve gotten to know who can relate to my pain. Of course I would never wish this upon anyone (on myself either), but I am so grateful to see how God is using this circumstance.  Through it I’ve been able to help friends begin the healing process, I’ve been able to help other friends understand better what I (and so many other women) am going through, and I’ve learned a whole new level of compassion.  A friend of mine had a miscarriage a few months before I did. I was so sorry for her then, but now I truly can understand her pain, and we’ve been able to talk with each other about it. That alone is a huge blessing. 

Though no one can see a physical change in me, I have changed in so many ways. Now I have a hurt that goes beyond words, but I also have the joy of being a mom.  I have the comfort of knowing another aspect of God’s incredible love for us.  One thing I haven’t mentioned yet is that I lost her so early in the pregnancy that it would have been very possible to not even know I’d been pregnant, but I feel like God wanted me to know that. I wasn’t entirely happy about that at first, because if I wouldn’t have known I wouldn’t be feeling such pain. But now I’m so glad I know about my little girl. I may not be able to hold her in my arms, but I hold her in my heart. And I know that she is forever safe in my Father’s arms. That is truly all a mom could ever ask.

The art I asked my friend at Slightly Sprightly to make for me.

Another Project

So, I took it upon myself to make another art project.  We were cleaning out and organizing at the church and we found a couple big bags of cheap crayons from an old project. It was confirm that we didn't need the crayons, so I got to have fun with them. 

I already had this cork board that I ended up not using for a different project, so I got to work on this one. It was quite the adventure! First I thought of just spelling out a phrase or word, but that didn't go well. So then I decided to make an actual picture! Above you can see the start of the 'grass' and 'tree trunk'.

I had a lot of crayons to work with!!! And I found that the most efficient way to remove the wrapper was using a small knife (the back edge actually) and digging a line into the crayon. This always cut the paper, and I was able to use the edge of the knife to lift the wrapper off. I had a lot of crayons to do this with and it took a long time...

The hot glue gun was my best friend for a few days while I was working on this. Obviously you see the grass, tree, sun, and cabin in the picture above. Here's the point where I most likely should have stopped. :P It was only after this that I kept making bad decisions. Mhmm..


I glued the crayons up for the sky with the intention of melting them together (I saw melted crayon art online and thought I'd improvise..it didn't work quite the same) but that really didn't work that well.

So then I had an ugly looking sky with no real hope of fixing it. However, I did get the idea to warm up all the crayons (hair dryer is being used this whole time, btw) and just use my fingers to smooth the crayons down and merge them together. It took some doing but I got it to a point where I could be content (though it wasn't what I truly wanted).

Then I got the brilliant idea to completely melt the wax crayons before applying it to the board. This brilliant decision ended up being the dumbest move I made. It wasn't easy to get the crayons completely melted, and then as soon as I poured it on the board it started to set.

Here I thought I'd get this nice smooth background layer of crayon, and what I got so so beyond ugly. I ended up scraping up all the melted wax ( some cork board came along for the ride :( ) with that same small knife. It took an annoying long time. And every piece I got up was another reminder of how poor a decision that had been. Oh well.

So now I was faced with funky sky and a torn up background. What was to be done? I went back to my handy dandy paint! The same paint that is now on our wall AND our table. It's the only good paint we have. And it was a neutral color, so why not. I painted the remaining background on the cork board (it soaked up a lot, who would have guessed) and also the frame ('cuz I'd made lots of messes on that while melting crayons). That actually worked out! So my unfixable disaster may have a happy ending after all.

All that was left was to figure out how to make this random piece of art directly glorifying to God (since it was intended to go back in the children's room at church). I ended up going with the different names of God. I just used a regular permanent marker....and here is the result...

It was not an easy project. I made my fair share of mistakes. But you know, despite all that, I really did enjoy doing it. It is currently at the church, waiting to be put up. Even if it's never hung up, I'm happy I did it.

The On-Going Dilemma

First a very random note. You know how words start to look funny if you stare at them too long? Well, Dilemma is getting so strange I had to look it up. Glad I got that taken care of. :P

So I have been dealing with still being unemployed lately and wondering what to do. I have put in countless applications over the last three months with nothing to show from it. I've only had one interview. It has been discouraging to say the least. This is especially the case since I do live in an area with a very healthy economy. *sigh*

Of course there are jobs that I could get (most likely at least) either in child care or food service. But I have been down that road. I have had those experiences. Granted getting cheap food is a great perk, that still doesn't pay for the trouble of putting my hands in a bad situation again. 

It is hard to know where to turn to next. What avenue is the right one for me? I certainly don't know, do you? I don't want to get stuck in a job I don't enjoy. I do want to try something new and exciting. I want to work with people. I'd love to do so many different things.

The thought I've been having lately is this: What if I'm just not supposed to have a full time job right now?

It is so hard to know exactly what God wants sometimes. Do I continue trying to find a full time job, or do I take advantage of the time I have to be doing other things?

I've been working more in my church lately, and I really have been enjoying it! And I want to work with them more. I've had a few different ideas of how I can be more involved and can truly make a difference in my church and community. I've been blessed to have the opportunity to build relationships with members of the church because I do have time in the day to meet with them.. 

and I love it...

I am truly enjoying not having a full time job...

I love that I can plan to visit a new mother who lives a ways away because I don't have to rearrange work...

I love that I can help out another family with their kiddo when they have schedule conflicts...

I love having the chance to be a friend to people who don't have time to go to night events with the church...

I just love it..

I am seeing God working in my life by investing my time into other people...

I am learning so much by working one-on-one with people with different opinions...

I am experiencing how God is using my struggles and triumphs in a way that blesses other people...

And I want more.

I want to do more of this..

I want to connect..

I want to befriend..

I want to be counted on..

I want to be a blessing to others, because that in turn blesses me.

So, with all this, is God making this my full time job? Is He going to give me new connections to reach more people? I honestly don't know, but I am excited about that possibility.  

Earning Points

I have been working on my 'domestic goddess' points lately. Mostly just for my own fun. So I have been working on my projects, which I've already showed you. I finally finished Thor's sweater!! Hurray!

Here he is proudly wearing his new sweater. When I first finished it the sweater was way too big. So I altered it for my little guy and it fits perfectly.

I've started on my third blanket because I just enjoy it so much.

Yesterday i was given the opportunity to gain some more points. I invited two guys to come and eat supper with us! So, I made two soups:

Vegetable Beef (ooh so yummy!)

and Pureed Carrot.

 ( I experimented with this by putting cabbage and rice in before pureeing it)

I also made a lemon cake. I did experimenting with all of the food for yesterday, but the cake was the only one that didn't turn out for the best. It ended up being a bit too dense. So I called it my lemon pound cake! I added a lemon glaze and some blueberries.

It didn't end up being terrible, but I am hoping next time will be better.

I had fun setting up the table with nice napkins and all ready for a nice meal together.

I had a lot of fun playing Susie homemaker. It was a great night with great friends.

We ate good food and played fun games. I hope to keep hosting friends as we continue to make new friends. Oh this is so much fun!

Me in my cute apron.

A Trip Gone Wrong

Today has been very interesting! We had scheduled a trip to the vet to get poor Thor fixed. Whether or not little Thor had anything to do with our adventures or not I'm unsure, but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have subjected himself to that either. We got on the road and were about half way there when we noticed the car seemed to be skidding and not accelerating.

MMM pulled off to the side of the road and there we ascertained that there really was something wrong. Out of the way of traffic, he found out that it was definitely our transmission. We had to hang out in that parking lot while we waited for the tow.

Naturally, our car had to break down on such a bitterly cold day. We hung out in the car while I was holding shivering Thor in my lap wrapped in his blanket. I was grateful to have Thor to help me stay warm and MMM was smart enough to put some extra blankets in my car once winter hit. So we did our best to stay warm. It only took a few minutes before it was cold enough to see our breath. It was an interesting time.

The tow truck came and Thor and I went to warm up in his truck. Thankfully the auto shop was just a couple blocks away. Almost as soon as we drove there, a friend made it there to pick Thor and me up. She brought us home so that I could take our other car and go pick Hubby up. It was such a blessing to get my friend's help.

So, my brilliant plan of leaving the blizzard's snow on that car so that MMM could scrape it off..well, it back-fired. I literally had to shovel the snow of his car! There was so much snow on it. :P Unfortunately, after all that work, the car wouldn't start. I tried to ask our neighbors to help my jump it, but they weren't at home. :( So, I made several calls to friends to figure out the new plan, and with no luck. Why do all my friends have to be normal and have a job? :P

The one good friend we had who could have picked MMM up wasn't able to because HIS car wasn't starting! :P So MMM just waited for the car to be fixed (which went faster than expected). He then picked me up, went to buy a jump starter, and then picked up our friend. Lunch was consumed at a yummy buffet. And then we went to get his car started.

After we made it home, he got our other car started and then worked to clear out our driveway some more. My poor guy must have been so cold. But now, we are all inside (including Thor) and dry. The cars are working, and the driveway has been shoveled. I guess it is not such a bad day after all.

Winter White

It is quite the winter land outside! We have icicles all around our house. They keep growing again after I knock them off. I have to be careful when opening the doors as I've already been hit in the head by a few of them. :P

We had quite of bit of shoveling to do after our blizzard on Sunday. It's not as much as the NE I know, but it's still a lot. Our blizzard even had a name! I'd say that's a big enough deal.

This picture just makes me smile. It looks like all the chairs have booster seats on them. 

Names Pt. 2

In my previous post I spoke about the importance of names in the Bible. How it seems that each name had a true meaning. Now I want to share some of my own thoughts on names.

Ever since I was young, I had an on-going list of the names I would give my children one day. I chose they purely because I liked the way they looked or they sounded. I'm not saying there is something wrong with that concept, just stay with me.

Lately I have been wondering whether God has given each of us a name with a specific meaning. Maybe some parents know what God has named their kids and name them that in this world too.

I know a lovely lady who had a few stories to tell about this all in her own family. I asked her permission to share them with you. When she was born her mother named her Jennifer Jones (after the actress), but it didn't take long to realize that the name Jennifer just didn't fit her! (It means 'fair' and 'white', fyi) While this lady is both of those things, the name she ended up with fits her so much better. Now her name means "Bright meadow" and "born again". She has the sweetest spirit of anyone I know. Her name truly fits her. Amazing how that happens.

Well, the name stories continue with her eldest son. For the first few years of his life he had a name which meant "Just" and "Charcoal". =D But then, before he was old enough to go to school, his parents each had a moment where they felt they were supposed to change his name! They prayed about it, but the real shocker was when their little son, out of the blue, actually asked them to give him a new name, and it was so close to the name they felt God had put in their heart! And so they got his name legally changed, and allowed him to pick out his new middle name. Now his name means "YHWH is God" and "Who is like God?".

I find her stories so interesting. They have a third story, but I'll save it for a future post. Isn't it just incredible how God had this little boy's name picked out? I think it is!

So I've been wondering. If God does have a name for each of us, does that mean we might get a new name in heaven? A name that is so perfect at describing our innermost being. Wouldn't that be exciting? To know that the God of all living has given each one of us a name? I love that thought.

So, do you think I'm crazy? Totally bonkers? Do you agree? What do you think about this idea?

Names

 I've been thinking a lot about names lately. God must think names are pretty important! If you are reading through the Bible you see that each name had a meaning and that's why they were called by that name.

Adam = Man.
The first man ever created was given the name Man

Seth = Appointed.
From what I remember, Seth was born after Cain murdered Abel...so it wouldn't surprise me if Seth then became the appointed head of the family.

Abram = High father
Changed to Abraham = Father of many nations
God has changed a person's name a few times in the Bible. Probably the most notable is Abraham, and his name change was to signify God's covenant with him.

Jacob = Supplanter

It really is an interesting story about how Jacob ended up getting all the benefits of the first born son, although he was second born.
Name change to Israel = God contended
God changed Jacob to Israel after the wrestling match between Jacob and the Angel of God.

Naomi = Pleasantness
Changed to Mara = Bitter
She did change her own name, but it still speaks to the importance of names. I'm not sure that her name change meant that she was bitter towards God for her suffering or something else. 

David = Beloved
He was a man after God's own heart.

Isaiah = YHWH is salvation
It is in his book that we find so many prophecies about the coming Christ.

Even looking at how some Hebrew names were changed by the Babylonian nation is very interesting!

Hananiah = YHWH is gracious

Changed to Shadrach = Command of Aku

The Hebrew name given to glorify the God of the Israelites, the Babylonian name given to honor one of their gods, Aku.

Mishael = Who is like God?

Changed to Meshach = Who is like Aku?

The names are the exact opposite. Isn't that interesting?

Azariah = YHWH has helped
Changed to Abednego = servant of Nebo

We can obviously see that the Hebrew names were meant to glorify the true God, and how, without their consent, they were changed to completely dishonor the true God. Surely this means that names are important.

This is a long enough post for today. I have more thoughts on names, but I'll continue it later. Please keep in mind that I am not a Bible scholar, so if I made any mistakes, please let me know. 

Projects

My hubby has been pretty busy with work lately. With all the extra time by myself, I have been working on projects! My first project was painting the top on our dining table. We had already painted the legs.

I decided to use the main color as my base coat. I had a lot of problems with texture. It took many coats to get it how I wanted it.

Then I taped out the outline for my red boxes.

I have found that red paint requires a lot of coats to make it look truly red.

Here is the finished table with the gloss. And you even get a sneak peak of another project!

My second project is knitting Thor a sweater! I definitely admit that knitting is not my best skill, but, I am doing my best. Poor buddy is out-growing the sweater we bought him, so I need to hurry up! I'm nowhere close to being done with it. Unfortunately, knitting is a chore for me, so I'm finding it hard to be motivated. But I have been bringing it with me to friend's house to knit while watching movies.

This here is my third project! I finished this blanket a couple of days ago. It took me somewhere around 20-25 hours to complete. I enjoy crocheting a lot more than I do knitting, but it's not nearly as portable.

And here is the beginning of my next project. (Yes, I started this before finishing Thor's sweater. I'm such a mean mommy.) I'm doing another blanket with the same pattern as the first. The first blanket is for my nephew, and this is for my youngest niece.

A couple years ago I did a post about my baby gift for my eldest niece. It was a quilt that I'd made. And just a couple of weeks ago I got to thinking that it's just not fair for only the eldest child to get that from their Aunt Lizzie. So now I'm making up for lost time. I'm going to do my best to crochet a blanket for every future baby in my whole family. I'm also hoping to continue learning new stitches so I can make each blanket unique in some way.

It has been so nice for me to have these projects to keep me occupied. I love to be working on them while watching movies or listening to sermons. It makes the day go by so quickly, and I really feel like I accomplished something. I really enjoy working with my hands.

I've also really enjoyed teaching MMM how to both knit and crochet! He's done quite well, and I'm very proud of him for learning it. He has been helping me with Thor's sweater the most (hurray!), so hopefully we'll get it done soon.

What kind of projects have you been working on?

A Year in Review

The Christmas letter we should have sent out. =P

Dear Friends and Family,

                It has been quite the year! We decided that for our first year together, we would like to start a good habit and write a Christmas letter every year! (Hopefully.)  The year began very well with a deepening relationship with each other which eventually led to a proposal in February! The day after MMM proposed, he left for a two week trip for his job. That gave me the great opportunity to get a start on wedding planning. 

                A short three months later came our wedding day. It was a perfect day in June and we are both so thankful for that! It was so much fun to have that day with so many friends and family to celebrate with us.  The day went perfectly and that was largely due to all the wonderful help we received. Thank you so much to all of you who helped us.

                We had a few shorts days after the wedding off before MMM had to go back to work full time and I went back to work part time.  Life continued on for about two months where we had to learn how to be married and how to live with someone new.  And then at the end of those two months, we packed up and headed to Ohio for a three month training.

                Dayton, Ohio was an amazing experience for us both. Having the opportunity to spend those months relatively alone really gave us the time to get used to being married, and learn how to work through issues as they came along. It was a time of great growth for both of us.  We were extremely blessed in our church family there, and learned a lot from them about how to be a blessing to others.

                Coming back to the Windy City was quite the ‘adventure’ (read as ‘stressful’) because we still hadn’t found a place to live. But, we learned again and again how important it is to trust the Lord for our next step. As we trusted Him He provided us with a place to live at the very last second!  We are so grateful we were able to move in just a few short days after arriving in the city.

                It has been so much fun making our little house into a home! We are enjoying the area and the convenient distance from MMM’s job.  We had just a short time to settle in before heading down to Arizona for our belated honeymoon. It was a great time just getting away from the stresses of moving and being back at his job. We had a wonderful time there and were able to visit with some great friends and family.

                Immediately from Arizona, we went to Iowa for our biggest family Thanksgiving ever!  What a joy it was to have the opportunity to be with family. In all likelihood, we won’t have everyone back  together again. Our family is spreading out and growing, so that makes it so much harder to coordinate!

                Speaking of growing families, we do have an addition! His name is Thor, and he is the most cuddly puppy I’ve ever known. He also has been the source of much frustration, laughter, and joy. MMM and I have been learning more and more how much work it is to have a dog, but the rewards are more than worth it. We both love him so much already, and he’s only been here a short while.

                This year was probably the craziest year in both of our lives, but it has also been the happiest and most fulfilling. We have been very blessed. And now I sign off with a very Merry Christmas to all of you! Wishing you all the best.