Graduation

Eight months ago, I was accepted into the surgical technology program at a local school. Six months ago I began the core program in the main instructors classroom. Two months ago I started practical labs to learn the functional purpose of a tech. And two days ago I had my last day in class. It really has gone so quickly.

Tuesday begins a new season. I will be doing my clinical externship for the next three months. I will actually be in the operating room helping the surgical staff care for the patient. It is exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. Surgical technologist isn't a very well known position, but the role techs play is actually quite significant.

Assuming I make it out of clinicals alive, this will the first time I will have a graduation of any sort. I went to Germany before the end of my senior year. Being homeschooled, I wouldn't have walked in the highschool graduation anyway, but I might have had a graduation party. I thought maybe when I got home I would do a belated one, but it just felt odd to have a party at that point. I had already started college online (while in Germany) and knew I would continue going online after arriving home. So, I just moved to the Windy City where my sister lived, and that was that.

I continued college online for a short time before making the decision to discontinue. I am very proud of myself for making that decision. I knew it made the most sense for me to wait to invest my money, time, and stress until I knew what I actually wanted to do. So, I didn't graduate college.

For six years I waited, wondered, debated, and resigned myself that I would never have the "typical" college experience. Then last June I came across this program for the first time (though I'd been on the website countless times debating whether I could enjoy doing any of the programs they offered). It was the first time that I could consider as many aspects of the career that I could think of, and I still couldn't convince myself not to do it. There were things I knew I wouldn't particularly appreciate about the field, but the excitement I felt far outweighed any of the negative things.

I didn't realize how low my confidence was until I had to apply and be part of a very select group to be accepted. I was so nervous, and I could barely believe how everything worked out on time for my application. Receiving the acceptance letter in the mail was one of the most amazing things.

For the first time in my life, I physically attended school. Every day was a new adventure of feeling like a 'real' student. My school doesn't function like a typical university, but it was the perfect combination of my homeschooling experience with being in a classroom with a bunch of people. I was able to prove myself early on that I could actually handle the workload of school. Every class I took was one step closer to finally completing continuing education.

Preparing for my clinical externship required some paperwork to be filled out. My teacher did her part and handed it to me. For the first time ever I saw the word graduation be used in reference to me. "Expected graduation: July 2017" Those four words fill me with such pride and satisfaction. For once I feel confident that I truly am capable of doing what I set my mind to.

While I will finish my program in July, I will still have to take my certification exam. That will most likely happen in August. And the school's graduation will most likely be held in August/September. Whatever day they pick, I will be there to walk in that ceremony. It doesn't matter that I will be getting a certication rather than a degree. It doesn't matter that the school is relatively small. And it doesn't matter to me that most of my classmates will choose not to walk. This is my chance to experience something that I have longed for for so long. The chance to feel that I truly have accomplished something. The opportunity to be proud of myself and the effort I put forth to be in this position. It is easy for me to still struggle with the fact that so many other people do so much more schooling and do so much more with their lives, but not this time. This time I am just going to appreciate that I have done more than I thought I could. I have pushed myself to borders beyond my comfort zone. It may seem small to others, but it is so significant to me.

I think I might even have the graduation party I never had. I certainly don't need the presents that come with a typical party, but I do think I want the chance to celebrate with others an achievement I'm proud of. Besides! Who doesn't like a good party! =P I am going to choose to enjoy this season, though it is scary and overwhelming. I am going to choose to continue doing my best and push myself to do even better. I am so grateful for everyone who has been encouraging me along the way. What a journey it has been and will continue to be!