GERMAN!!

I only have 16 days left in Germany, and you know what I did for the first time today? I had a full conversation auf Deutsch with my American friend! And the really amazing part..it felt comfortable.

For so long I have been afraid of speaking German because I felt incapable of speaking correctly. You know, I still don't speak correctly...but I've realized that it's okay! The most important thing is that I can communicate, and I really can. Sure, there's thousands of things for me still to learn. But I can actually have a meaningful conversation with someone now. That is so exciting to me.

The process has been a slow one. For my first six months at least, I had no desire to speak in German with anyone who could speak English. If they could understand English, we spoke English. Nothing could persuade me otherwise.

In my fourth month in Germany, a new girl came to live at my boss' house. She is a year younger than I am. We didn't really talk at the beginning, but as more time passed, we began to connect with each other through our similar difficulties. I feel like I took her under my wing, so to speak. I find myself hanging around the kitchen more often just to talk to her as she does her work.

One thing that I really liked about talking to her in the beginning is that she didn't slow down when talking to me. You know how people will slow down when they feel they aren't understood? Well, a lot of times I didn't understand what she said, but I felt more comfortable knowing that she believed I COULD know it. :P I know I talk quickly to her in English too. Just habit.

I think she was the first person I truly strove to communicate with. Now, after being in Germany for nearly a year, I'm feeling more at my ease. I know that my vocabulary in small, and I know my grammar is horrible, and I know that I make many mistakes. But I also know that I am learning, and I'm growing..and this is something I CAN do.