Catch up here!
And now the conclusion.
I couldn’t have imagined our time together
going better than it did. The conversation was so comfortable and easygoing. We
discussed some important issues, but mostly maintained a relaxed discussion.
Our agency mentioned several times how amazed they were that we asked to meet her
at our home. They had never had a first meeting at the adoptive home.
The expectant mom got to see where this baby
could grow up. We gave her the full tour, including walking down the stairs to
the creek behind our house. Supper time arrived and we were able to eat outside
in the beautiful weather. I was so glad that we were able to show her our
normal life. We truly had a great time.
The most amazing thing happened as everyone
got ready to leave. She told us that she felt even more confident in her decision
to place her baby into our care because we had opened our home up to her. My
heart felt like it could explode at that moment. We desperately wanted her to
know how important it was for us to maintain a relationship, and her words
confirmed that hope. It was still such a new thing, but I felt more confident
than ever that we could have an open adoption, and we could do it well!
Later that night, I was struggling to fall
asleep after the excitement when I realized that I needed to turn the ringer of
my phone on. The due date was two weeks away but the baby could be born at any
time. God must have given me some good intuition because just three hours
later, at 2:45am, I got the call from the agency that they had just arrived at
the hospital. They laughingly suggested that the walk down to the creek must
have been the instigator. While we were still on the phone with the agency, we
heard something incredible in the background. Just moments after making it to
the hospital, the baby was born! My husband immediately called into the phone
saying that he didn’t want to know the gender until we reached the hospital! In
utter shock, we grabbed a couple of things and headed out the door for the hour
long drive.
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| Driving an hour down to the hospital at 2:45am |
Upon arriving at the hospital, we were able to
check in with the baby's mom and hang out with her for a while. It was there
that she told us it was a boy! When he was three hours old, the hospital
allowed us to go see him for the first time. What a crazy whirlwind of
emotions. He was absolutely beautiful from head to toe. It seemed so hard to
believe that he might be our son!
Over the next thirty-six hours we got to hold
and feed him and also spend time with his mom. I will cherish that time
forever. And then the moment came. While she and his father had chosen us
already, there was still paperwork that needed to be signed in order for us to
be given guardianship. Up until the moment those papers were signed, his mom
had every right and option to change her mind. I felt like my heart was
breaking all over again. I was devastated that adoption was the better option
for this sweet mother and son, and yet, I was terrified that it wouldn’t happen
and he wouldn’t be our son. It is the cruelest form of joy.
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| Check out the cutest little milk mustache |
I will never forget the moment that I received
a text from the agency letting us know that his mom had chosen to go through
with placing her son with us. It couldn’t be real. We got to see her shortly
after and I was so nervous that it would be awkward, but it was such a
beautiful moment of gazing at the son the three of us now shared. I reassured
her that this moment wasn’t the end of her relationship with him, it was just
the beginning.
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| Levino with both sides of his family |
Nearly every day I wake up needing someone to
pinch me. Now I get to soak in the beautiful sadness that encompasses every
adoption. I’m so sad for him that adoption is something he didn’t choose for
himself, but I’m so very grateful that I get to walk through it with him.
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| Our first picture as a family of three |
Somehow I still can’t believe that this is
real life. That a family chose us and we actually have a child! We never have
to wonder again if God’s plan will include parenthood. And now being on this
side of adopting, I can see things so much more clearly.
If we wouldn’t have gone through those two and
a half years of trying to connect by word of mouth, I know we would have signed
on with a lower quality agency. I needed those years to realize the value of a
consultant. When I found her, her business was still fairly new, and it was
amazing that I found her even then. If I hadn’t found our consultant, we would
never have heard of this agency. Without the generosity of friends we would
never have renewed our home study, so we wouldn’t have signed on with the
agency, and wouldn’t have been able to present or be chosen in this case. I
believe that if just one of these pieces of our journey had changed, we
wouldn’t have our son today.
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| Levino wearing the first onesie we ever bought |
So many days I wondered what God was doing.
But His plan was so much better than mine. So many little aspects of our
adoption story are such tender mercies. Smaller desires that He provided when
it wasn’t necessary. Our son is the perfect fit for our family, and I’m so
grateful that God kept us on the road to him.
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| We couldn't be happier! |
I know with so much confidence that God is
good no matter what, but I’m grateful beyond words that He chose to display it
by bringing two families together for our son. Our lives will forever be interwoven,
and I’m grateful beyond words for this amazing chance to finally be his mom.
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| Levino Scott, You are so deeply loved |
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