I Want to Protect You, but I Can't

 A note to my son. 

Every morning begins with more bad news. It seems that our world is falling apart bit by bit. A mother delivered her baby in a bomb shelter. Countless mothers are now sending their boys off to a war they did not ask for. Sitting in my living room, completely safe, it’s easy to put my head in the sand and avoid thinking of the atrocities being faced every day. And closer to home, a sweet child found life with bullies too difficult to bear any longer and his mother will never again get to tell him how very loved and valued he was. 

The world you, my son, have been welcomed into is a very broken and dark place. My imagination drifts into all of the sorrow you might face and my heart is breaking for you. 

Right now you don’t have any cares. As long as Mama is there to smile at you, you are happy! You don’t have to think about pain, loss or war. You are existing completely in a place of peace, and I want it to last forever. I get lost in your pretty blue eyes and all my cares and fear drift away too. 

But I know these sweet moments of peace can only last so long. Each stage of your life will bring some pain and some joy. It will be filled with challenges and lessons to be learned. The current challenge of teething feels like a doozy, but this is only just the beginning for you, my little man.

I want to protect you from the cruelties of this world, but I can’t. 

I hope you never experience the discouragement and torture of bullying. But if you do, I pray you will hold on to the truth that you are so very loved. You bring a special light to the world. You are worth being celebrated. Be confident that your Creator put you here for a reason. 

I hope you never experience the heartbreak of betrayal and rejection of a friend. But if you do, I pray you will find the courage to step forward into new friendships. Others will be so blessed to have your sweet smile in their life. Remember that God made you uniquely with special gifts to share. Be the kind of friend that you desperately want and need. 

As our news is full of the devastation of impending war, I desperately hope you never experience being forced to protect those you love. But if you do, my sweet, sweet boy, I pray that you will walk forward boldly and bravely. Protect the weak and vulnerable with everything you have. May you be protected as you protect and shelter others. I pray others will find courage just by being in your presence. Do not let the darkness of the day distract you from the Light who has already won. 

Like every mother does, I wish I could protect you from experiencing any of these moments of pain, sadness, fear, and the unknown. But trials and hardships are how we grow, so I pray you will grow well. I pray that through your pain you will learn compassion and understanding. Learn how to remain soft hearted and loving. I pray you will grow strong in character and faith. Others will learn that they can lean on you because you’ve been through it and made it to the other side. 

You will face hard days with painful moments and difficult choices. That is simply a fact of life. But I pray that when each day arrives you will remember just how dearly loved you are. I pray all these things for you, my love. For as long as I can, I will protect you and hold you close. I will let myself sink into the joy and peace that is enveloped in your cheerful smile and bright eyes. I love you, my precious son.