Daughters of the King

 The first nightmare I remember was when I was six years old. I remember it in vivid detail, just like most of the nightmares I have faced. For most of my life, fear has been my biggest struggle and battle. So many nights I am praying for a peaceful dreams without fear. But so often those nights that I prayed would be the nights that I would have the worst dreams! It’s hard not to connect those two. Does praying truly make it worse? I have recently been going through another season of horrible nightmares. It’s gotten to point that I’ve been terrified to fall asleep. 

It has been in this season that I had the pleasure of reading an early copy of Natasha Metzler’s young adult book “The Daughters of the King.” It is a book of short stories in a fairytale style that have a beautiful message of hope! They are an allegory of our relationship to our Heavenly Father as our King. In each chapter I was able to find different moments that I related to even now as an adult, but there was one chapter that spoke the deepest to me. In it the main character is dealing with a horrible monster that causes her great pain and fear. At one point of her story she’s battling this monster and all she can see is the horror. She doesn’t see anyone standing by her side. It looks like everyone has abandoned her. And then she cries out for her king to save her. It is in that moment that she learns the truth. Her king had never left her side! He was the one who had given her arm the strength to hold her sword. He was the one who was whispering assurances of his presence. He was the one reminding her of what she learned in her time with him. In this intense battle she was never facing the monster alone.

As I read these beautiful words, all I could do was cry. For so many years I have questioned where God was when it came to my dreams. Why did it make it worse when I prayed? Was He sending me these dreams for some unknown reason? It was so discouraging to feel like there were too many times that I couldn’t manage the battle. The imagery that Natasha gave touched a piece of my heart. I felt the desperation in the midst of the battle, and then the relief when she finally knew the truth. 

That night I had a dream. In the dream I was having a conversation with Mark about my concern of being partially controlled by demonic forces. There would be time I couldn’t remember. He nervously explained that my concern was correct and I did have a monster holding me away from freedom. He was able to show me the image that would appear when I was no longer in control. It was a tattoo-like image of Eve with the serpent in the garden. Immediately, and without fear, I knew that I was allowed to make a choice and I choice to remove the image one piece at a time by Jesus’ power.

I woke up with so much peace. There were things within that dream that normally would have scared me, but I felt so confident that fear had no hold on me, because my King was with me. 

Later that day I was sharing my dream with a friend and expressing my excitement that I finally felt a new freedom. We discussed my fear of praying over my dreams because it hasn’t gone well in the past. Then she made a remarkable suggestion. Instead of praying that I have no nightmares, perhaps I should pray that I would have nightmares to overcome. 

That night I had another dream. I was walking down a hallway filled with doors. Behind each door I could hear a scary sound. (You know how so much of a horror film is scary because of the music, right?) With each door I passed, I had the increasing revelation that I normally would be afraid by this point. And yet, I wasn’t afraid at all. I was able to walk down the hallway completely at peace. 

Dreams are strange to explain because the actual details don’t often make sense, but I, as the dreamer, can remember the emotion they evoked in me. I have never woken up from a “would-be” nightmare with such peace and contentment. 

I’m not sure what this means for the future of my dreams, but I’m so incredibly grateful for the reminder Metzler gave me that even in my worst nightmares God is still with me. He has never forsaken me. 

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You can preorder Metzler’s new book, “Daughters of the King,” here!